Beauty and Truth
Like so many travelers in the Instagram age, (White Lotus) characters drift through their adventures without any real purpose other than to reproduce the pretty scenes and special moments they’ve seen elsewhere, trying to locate themselves in endless reflections.
— NYT
Was just reading this to distract from overdue work and existential angst. Both of which have been inexorably linked throughout my existence.
I asked mom yesterday how I could get rich.
I mean, this is probably the peak of my career. I always hoped for more.
But this isn’t a world where loyalty equals longevity.
It doesn’t end in a pension. If you’re lucky, it ends in a week’s pay. If you’re really lucky, maybe two weeks’.
Someone asked recently what, if any, regrets I’d go back in time to fix. Financially, anyway.
I wish I’d bought real estate after the crash. The same shitty condos I scoffed at for $125k now go for for $525k … with the same pink tile, serpentine glass and cracked Formica. HOA fees have soared to $1k/mo. And interest rates are near 6%.
Why didn’t I? Job insecurity, as ever.
I look back and think damn, if I’d bought, I’d be set for life by now. Sure I’ve hit financial rock bottom a few times between jobs. But overall I’m doing OK.
So why don’t I buy now? I mean, other than elevated prices/rates and low inventory?
Same story — this could all end any minute. I have even less confidence than before. I’m older, way more tired, everything hurts a lot more. And I hate to admit, I’m slower than I was at everything.
So, how do I make a bunch of money … and what will I do with it?
I would be Jennifer Coolidge in White Lotus.
I want to drift from one exotic locale to another.
I want to meet fascinating people and enjoy frozen rum cocktails by every sea.
I want to see All the Sunrises and All the Sunsets.
I want some other sap to take the Advil.
At the very least, I just want fewer projects to focus on so I can make them really fucking great instead of treating everything as just another spinning plate.
And I want to own my little piece of paradise and not worry about how to pay for it when my energy or at least my ability to crank out a fuck gives out.
That is my truth, and I find beauty in it.