Another thank-you to the universe

The gods smiled upon me and hired me some help for my new Sunday night projects. It’s glorious.

I’m awaiting the results of the projects. I went ahead and did the work anyway just in case. But I’m confident I’ll get a great result from the new guy and not have to use my versions.

So, that’s two awesome hires in the last month. I’m pretty happy. More than pretty happy. Over-freaking-joyed, I tell you.

I know a lot of people who are intimidated by hiring smarter and more experienced people than them.

But if I were to very honestly write down the list of people I’ve worked with who were junior to me, and the list of who were senior to me, I think they’d all agree that my strength was in managing the stars rather than developing future ones.

I have been doing a ton of thinking these past few weeks. I used to be convinced that I’d end up as an expert in organizational leadership. That I’d be the CEO of my own firm at some point. That I’d be traveling to share my wit and wisdom with people like me all over the world.

That can still happen. Right after I become a novelist. 😉

But I always toe the lines between “I love what I do now” and “There are people who do it better than me” and “Not too shabby for a person who wanted to be a traveling spokesperson/novelist.”

I think what has always held me back from too much success is myself. And my damn mouth. I used to rage against injustice, and tick people off. Now I rage against other things.

What I need to do is to pretend no one else in the world exists. To advocate for myself. Or to just shut the hell up about it all and trust that the universe has a place for a passionate loudmouth with a big heart and a small intolerance for things that impede big progress.

What I also need to do is stop blogging because it makes me nervous. There may be room in the universe for me, but maybe not in the universe I want to be in that involves people who can look the other way every time I need them to.

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