And they’re probably proud

When I was little, my ex-stepfather looked right at me and declared to me that I would never go anywhere in life.

I’m not really sure why — I was a straight-A student and pretty damn cute back then, if I do say so myself. 😉 He was just a dick, and even then, I knew it.

I’d blocked the memory completely until someone brought it up while I was back home this past weekend. The thing is, you don’t say shit like that to kids — or to anyone, for that matter. People can take that shit seriously.

But even when my age was merely in the single digits, as it was at the time of the insult, I apparently was very good at considering the source of the insults.

I mean, by the time I was 4 years old, I’d already learned how to say “bastard” because my mom called him one so often when she thought I was out of earshot. Yeah, I had his number, all right. 😉

As y’all know, I’m doing just fine in life, thankyouverymuch. And a hell of a lot better than him, I’ll tell you that. I achieved more in my 20s than he has in his 55 years.

But here’s the funny part. His older daughter is graduating this year. (Surprisingly — I thought he would have raised crack addicts, but both girls are merely teen parents. Yes, the younger daughter is, too. He must have given them the same speech about not amounting to something. Apparently, they listened.)

So the fucked-up part of all this (yeah, I still haven’t gotten to it) was that the high school gave his daughter an award — the “Best Teen Parent Award.”

Um, the hell?


We celebrate that shit?

Fuck, my mom was a teen parent, and all she got was exiled from the mainstream classroom for her trouble. Homeschool the girl until she gives birth — hide her from society. And that was in the ’70s!

Today, let’s celebrate the girls who can probably order napalm on teh Intarweb but who can’t buy a box o’ condoms before they leave a snail trail over the football field. I am pretty sure this award-winning ‘ho has two kids, if I remember correctly. What, so the more puppies you poop out, the more you’ve done to qualify for an award?

Is this what passes for standards these days? Christ.

You know how many awards I got? About 14 poetry-writing awards, as well as excellence in A.P. English and also A.P. history. I also got outstanding student in business, and I wasn’t even following the business track — I was just smarter than the shit-for-brains assholes taking the courses in hopes of it leading to a vocation. (I was on the academic track.)

In any event, it always entertains me, these people who raise themselves up by tearing down someone else. And for a 30-ish man to put down an 8-year-old so cruelly, when he would go on to live a less-than-mediocre life (God gets you back, you son of a bitch. What goes around, comes around, fucker) and the biggest claim to fame his kids would have is to be teen parents. Woo. And don’t get me started on that ugly wife he has now — no wonder he was drooling over my mom (the hot ex-wife) at the high school’s promenade.

I just LOVE it when people’s lives turn out exactly the way they deserve. Sad part is, they probably never really understand why they get what they get, and if we keep rewarding less-than-exemplary behavior, well, I can only shudder in fear for what our society might be destined to become. …

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