Wedding belles

Wedding belles

It’s funny how you look so very forward to a day that it seems like it’s an eternity away, and then, before you know it, you awaken and realize that it’s the day two of your best friends are getting married.

Kind of like when you’re dyeing your hair — that 25 minutes to leave it on seems soooo far away, but then you look at a clock and it’s already time to rinse!

Today at 2:30 p.m., Bryan and Paul will, at what is sure to be a beautiful ceremony, say their vows and officially unite. Sure, gay marriage still is a long ways away from happening in Virginia, but their pastor has enthusiastically agreed to perform what, for all intents and purposes, is a wedding, just without the paperwork that goes along with it.

I had the pleasure of meeting their families at a rehearsal last night. Not that I can remember most of their names, but it was so heartwarming to meet these individuals from all corners of the country about whom the boys are always talking — the people who made them the amazing human beings they are today. Ironically, both Bryan and Paul are twins, so I could easily pick out the more-familiar-looking audience members with ease. It was empowering to be surrounded by parents and brothers and friends — and everyone in the room looked thrilled and comfortable and eager to support what their beloved boys are doing.

I made fast friends with Rehka, another member of the wedding party whose son is the ringbearer. She was having a “shoe dilemma,” so we figured out what she was wearing and how I could help (my closet looks like a Payless/Marshall’s disaster sale), and we wear roughly the same size, so I’m bringing some shoes and we’ll have a little fashion show before the event. 🙂 We talked this morning, and I really like her and hope to keep up our connection after the ceremony/reception.

Her son is thrilled to be the ringbearer, although he would rather that Bryan were marrying his mom instead of Paul! At his precious 7 years old, when he realized that Bryan is marrying Paul, he asked, “Mom, is Bryan queer?” And last night, apparently there was a special on “20/20” about transsexuals, and he wanted to know what that was all about and if transsexuals are gay. He is so precocious — we sure as hell weren’t asking questions like that at 7! And the cool thing was, he really wanted to know the answers, and she sounds like she explained them very well. She’s just hoping he will keep still during the ceremony — it’s so tough to be that little and so inquisitive and yet have to pay attention, but I think he’ll be interested to watch. He already knows it’s a big-boy job and it’s a real honor to be part of this special day, so all shall be well.

I am doing a reading at the event. It’s short but it has lots of religious reference (as, of course, it is from the Bible and all. …). There will be no microphone, so Paul instructed me to use my “big-girl voice.” LOL. If lightning doesn’t strike and I don’t go *poof* when the lightning hits, I should be fine! But it’s a long way to the fire exits, so hope for the best, friends!

As an attendant in the wedding, I feel like I am participating in something special — monumental, even. It’s always a treat when people fall in love and take the next step to cement that bond for life. But we’re also in highly politically charged times, and it’s mind-boggling to realize that someday, couples like these fabulous guys won’t have to be ignored by our state or country — that maybe, future generations who wish to wed (no matter which combination of genders approaches the altar) will do so with ease.

They asked us to not do wedding gifts — all they want is for us to be there. They did suggest that, if we were so inclined, we could make a donation to a favorite charity. I found a site, Married for Good, where you can find a palette of worthy causes where you can honor your favorite couple with a donation. But did I? Not yet. Is it tacky to make a donation or give a gift after the wedding? I swear, the past few months have been c-h-a-o-t-i-c, and I thought I had all the time in the world to come up with something. But alas, the day has arrived, and I have ideas but nothing to show for it.

Anwyho, the time has come to rinse my hair (I’m going to try being a brunette for awhile — maybe it’ll make me smarter!), as well as to slap on the self-tanner and do all the girly rituals that come with being a bridesmaid. Wish our boys luck today and always, and pray I don’t fall in front of all the guests!!!

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