To my little Greek girl

Dearest Sia,

I know you’re going through your life review right now and don’t have time for the likes of me. Yet I feel you everywhere around me. I hope I am not too bold as to assume I’ve gotten a pretty kickass guardian angel. Because you can expect me to be talking to you a whole lot more than I did before this weekend.

I shouldn’t have come into work today. I try not to blog from here but I hope they will understand today. I was actually fine till someone said your name out loud. I was praying he wouldn’t. Praying. Praying like I should have when you were fighting for your life. Which I didn’t because you’re so tough. I never thought you wouldn’t make it.

The boys are used to hearing me laughing in my corner. Today they hear sobs. They are staying away now. I am grateful for that.

You will find this funny. When your name came up this morning, my friend thought he was talking about the singer. She pinged me to say no, she’s not dead. It’s an internet hoax. I Googled it.

At first I was stunned. Like, WTF is going on right this minute? Are you people all trying to make me insane?

And then I laughed. My first laugh since …

I explained we were talking about the lovely lady in my Faceypages profile photo. Yes, that girl. The one so young and full of life with the fire in her eyes. That one that should be here right now.

Mom misses you, too, Sia. When I told her the news, she crumbled. You were hers, too. She loved you so, so, so much. We are so sorry that we didn’t connect more, invite you over more. You never wanted to intrude. You knew how sick she was and how hard it was for her to be “on” for company. But you were family. You would bring the Chianti, mom would make the lasagna and I would just enjoy you both.

I can’t believe this is real.

Fly high, little lady. Don’t hang around me too long. You were never meant to be trapped in a body. You wanted to see the world, and you saw your fair share in your three decades on this blue marble. Now you can see it all.

I hope you are waiting for me so you can show me everything when it’s my time to join you.

Love you so very much,
The one you always called Goddess

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