They had me at ‘O HAI Goddess’

Sunset on the Intracoastal

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

So, OK, I got some encouragement to grab life by the balls. So I spent several hours at my friend’s condo complex today, touring apartments and otherwise losing my mind.

But in a good way, if you can believe it.

I took the Over-Extended Houseguest with me. We toured apartments for me and I basically showed her the studio apartment that’s going to be ALL HERS.

I mean, it’s not gorgeous, but it ain’t Shady Pines, yo.

As for me, I had my heart set on this GORGEOUS corner unit. Very private, very high in the sky (for this building, anyway). My bedroom has a stunning view of the Atlantic Ocean. I mean, it’s top fucking notch.

But …

The unit smells a little funny. It’s lovely otherwise. The Roman tub and wraparound balcony had me at hello. Or, at “O HAI.” Whichever. 😉

But then …

They showed me a couple of penthouse apartments. And I was in lurrrve.

See, the best penthouse was actually lower in my price range (my price range is twice as much as I was paying in D.C. *faint*). But that would mean keeping the OEH so I could get the world’s most-gorgeous view.

Fuck that. Seriously, I will sacrifice more money and beauty, but no more skimping on sanity. No fucking way.

But there was a tiny penthouse — about 1,000 square feet for a 2BR/2BA. The unit I wanted downstairs was about 1,300 square feet and $100 less. BUT … THE VIEWS.

*happy sigh*

Now, the catch was to get approved. Because my credit score sucks and all.

But not only did I get APPROVED for a motherfucking PENTHOUSE, but I don’t have to pay any weird triple deposits like I did at this shithole I’m in now.

God is good. Nay, God is GREAT. I don’t mean to sound like one of those turds who praise Jesus when they win an MTV Music Award, but seriously, it is by the grace of God that I could get my shit together to go look at apartments, let alone GET APPROVED FOR A PENTHOUSE.

The OEH and I will be five floors apart. In a lovely building on a freaking peninsula that overlooks EVERYTHING.

Sure, I’ll give her a key to my place. Sigh. But to come home to my own space? Priceless.

And did I mention the private beach to which only residents get a key? Chairs and umbrellas provided courtesy of the management?

Seriously, last week I wanted to die. Today, I’m getting ready to LIVE.

I’m holding two apartments for me though — the smelly big one with the rockin’ tub and the twee penthouse with far less privacy outside (HUGE balcony, though) with the brand-new stainless-steel appliances. Shitty twee tub but did I mention the VIEW?!?!

Lots to think about this weekend. Like whether to write “So Long, Farewell” on my bare ass when I go tell my current apartment management to sit and spin, or whether to suck dick at Comcast and the electric company since I’ll have to pay for two sets of utilities.

And THOSE are GREAT problems to have!!!

5 Responses to They had me at ‘O HAI Goddess’

  1. Tiff :

    It occurs to me, love, that handing over a key to your place pretty much assures uninvited entry into your space, without knocking. We are talking about someone who clearly has an issue with boundaries, after all. Ensuring that she has to KNOCK might be a better step.

  2. Mel :

    Don’t give her the key.. craziness!!! She will still be digging in the fridge when you get home.

    So does that mean you can have people visit now?

  3. Lachlan :

    I agree. Do not give her the key. You will be right back to her eating your cookies, stealing your cash, and otherwise being in your space.

    Don’t tale a good first step at separation and nullify it. Please.

  4. The Goddess :

    Y’all are spot-on with the key thing. I knew she would miss the cats but I decided Kadie is going with her. Maybe Maddie will stop writing her name in poop on the carpets, as she’s done since Kadie adopted us six years ago.

    I’m overwhelmed by all the “next steps” (i.e., all the checks I have to write), but if I wait any longer, I’LL be the one writing my name in poop on the walls next!

  5. Lachlan :

    LOL… you will be fine. Just give her the cat and her own space and let the rest of it go. I’m so glad you’re taking the step.