‘Somebody tell me why I’m on my own, if there’s a soulmate for everyone’

Goodnight, Sun

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

Spent the day with a group of colleagues. It was a working session, although I mostly shot the shit with the talent and worked on my newsletter.

We’re pretty much booked every single day (weekends included) now through June 18, whereupon I plan to hop on a plane and meet with my NEXT group of talent in another Southern state in another time zone.

Exhausting, yes. But terribly exciting. Not this part, of course — the working part of it sucks. 🙂 But the magic we’re working to create? Fucking amazing, what I have at my fingertips here.

The “Russian” has become a rather welcome fixture at La Oficina. Today we had a really good discussion about what got him from where he was to our office, and man does it put a lot of things in perspective for me.

It’s exactly what I needed to get my own energy/enthusiasm back in full force. Just “getting” people makes such a difference to me. I don’t do well with unknown entities or even enigmas. Now that we finally understand where on the doll that he himself has been touched, we can really move forward.

He said something off-topic and, I think, rather brilliant today. He suggested that we each have that one true soulmate in this world, and that we DO run into them.

But we may be at different levels of readiness … so much so that even though our paths cross and we even connect on some level, we may keep on going and find another “true love,” but maybe it might not be the perfect love whom we “could” have had if it were the right place, right time for both parties.

He said what about all the times that you meet someone and one or both of you is in a relationship/marriage already. Or what about when you’re both 5 years old and you know that person is special, but you’re not at any level of consciousness/readiness to identify that this is the person with whom you could spend your life.

I found the discussion fascinating. Not because it’s anything new in my head, of course, but maybe it was seeing through the soul of the source of it.

I have my short list of people who made my soul dance at one time or another. Some were already married, some were already dating someone else, some lived a thousand miles (or more) away, some were colleagues who actually honored those stupid “no dating” rules that traditional corporate America shoves down our throats and up our asses.

My Facebook page is a veritable yearbook of “could have beens.” But I’m OK with that. I’m just lucky that I recognized specialness when I saw it, and of course I continue to be surprised all these years later when I get a private message telling me that I was more than whatever I thought I was.

(We won’t even get into the Facebook-based courtships booty calls. Really. I only went through with one, though. So far! *lulz*)

I don’t have anything profound to say about any of it. I am still of the hope that either I haven’t met that true soulmate, or that if my friend is right (and it’s a thought I’ve always entertained) that we have multiple soulmates but one shines through above the rest, well, it’ll happen when it happens.

Another colleague chimed in about his wife, saying, quite simply and succinctly, “She saved me.”

I got CHILLS, yo. A man, saying that, and meaning it? Lord, there’s hope for me yet.

I haven’t been getting nervous about whenever it’s going to be “my turn.” I’m more restless that I haven’t been in anything I can define with any sense of authority as a “relationship.” Most of the tags I can put on them fall under “salacious,” “illicit,” “WTF,” “Goddess, you KNOW better” and “What am I missing out on while I’m messing around with this clown?”

I know the proverbial “they” say that it comes around when you’re not looking. But I’ll be damned if I let something (else) good slip away because my fool ass wasn’t wise enough to see it or persistent enough to get it.

And I’ll try very hard not to wonder whether it’s too late to save me, because settling isn’t on my agenda and I’d rather be alone than be with the wrong person when the right one comes along.

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