Ratt ‘n Roll

Subtitle: I *~*heart*~* spandex

OK, so I am watching the “Top 40 Hair Bands of All Time” series on VH1. This, of course, is the follow-up to the “100 Most Metal Moments of All Time” series that I am almost caught up on.

I am very glad my shipment of vibrators just arrived, because after I saw Kip Winger interviewed at No. 12, I have all the mental fodder I need to break in those bad boys. Jesus Christ, all I have to do is think of that man, and I suddenly feel the need to wring out my panties. *slurp*

I assume Bon Jovi will be at the top of the countdown when it ends at midnight. The Vibrator Consultant had to instruct me how to load up the battery pack on the Jelly Osaki, and it’s buzzing quite happily now. I think I’ll wait till midnight, then, to really be ready to ride that purple plastic up and down the damn Beltway.

One thing I do know, my ass is gonna be downloading scores of hair metal from Limewire tomorrow. Not that I don’t have every single fucking one of the Top 40 Hair Bands’ albums, but they’re on cassette. I just had a flashback — I was listening to all of these bands 17 years ago. Seventeen years! Christ, why do I feel so YOUNG when I listen to this stuff, especially when it should be making me realize how OLD I am getting? I am groovin’ to Bulletboys, Saigon Kick, Kix, Cinderella, Ratt, Warrant, Danger Danger, Steelheart, White Lion, Whitesnake, Great White, Vixen, Lita Ford and a shitload of others, and I have never felt happier to have my ass parked on the couch, reliving my early years. *happy sigh* Viva le spandex!

Comments closed.