‘Popcorn bandit’

My workplace never fails to amuse me.

So yesterday, our marketing director gave each department that she works with a huge popcorn tin. I don’t really work with her, but she did give a tin to Demure to share with the membership and newspaper staffs. In any event, the office Candy Pig was last seen stealing the tin from the executive staff. I think she even took it home. She raids everybody’s candy jars, but that was ridiculous — I even overheard other staff chastising her for being such a greedy little shit.

So Demure decided to take our departmental popcorn tin and lock it in her office last night, hidden in a corner. (Insert my snickering that it’s not, say, a toner cartridge or corporate credit card, but a $7.99 Wal-Mart popcorn tin!)

In any event, our offices were broken into last night. I probably left around 7, so it was after that. The weird thing is that nothing was stolen. Several offices showed signs of forced entry (not mine or anyone else I like, although, granted, that doesn’t leave many people!). I decided that it was Candy Pig who broke into all the offices, looking for popcorn tins. 🙂 Shan liked that and decided we should call her Popcorn Bandit from now on. 🙂

Related. …

That’s scary about the break-in last night. I’m always among the late shift — oftentimes I’m the only one here. I filed a report three weeks ago with H.R. to say that every night and weekend, there are shady people supposedly fixing their cars out by our dumpsters. It’s the same white car and black car, and there’s occasionally a silver Eclipse. I assume it’s a drug ring, but in any situation, it’s frightening to see 14 people and two or three cars at any given time. I had warned all my fellow employees that they shouldn’t park behind the building (which I do, because I can watch my car from my office) after hours, and I thought H.R. should officially step in and be proactive about us taking safety precautions. And she did respond to my report, saying that she would have the building management send a memo to all businesses in the building about suspicious activities and maybe giving us a list of ways to protect ourselves.

So, fast-forward to today, and don’t make me state the obvious that I never heard word one since my report. Cruise Director sent out an e-mail to all of us, stating things like, “In case you haven’t heard about the break-in” and “if you see anything suspicious, let us know.” It took all the power in me to not respond with, “What? And wait till I’m 35 for you to do something with my report?”

I told Shan that I’d like to see H.R. offer some type of safety or self-protection seminar, to respond to this. She said H.R. will probably rant (like always) that people hate it when she schedules things. I told her I probably don’t even have the time personally to attend such a seminar, but they need to show some sort of response and aftercare for their (mostly female) employee pool. Of course, there I go again, offering ideas and solutions and not being happy with the status quo. Bad girl. 🙂

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