Popcorn Bandit strikes again

A few entries ago, I introduced you to the Popcorn Bandit at the Veggie Patch, who stole a tin of popcorn from the executive staff. This, my friends, became an international act of espionage, so much so that the original giver of the popcorn tin was last spotted bringing in a replacement. Jesus Christ.

Popcorn Bandit had taken a vacation day today, but because we had a potluck lunch, she drove into the office (all the way from Maryland) so she could pig out on the offerings. Ugh. I hate seeing her at potlucks — she clearly has an aversion to using, oh, UTENSILS to take the food out of the dishes. Ugh. She’s always the first person at the lunches, and she is always seen talking with her mouth full. So. Very. Gross.

She had brought in cookies as her contribution (Shan, RC, Angie and I bought pizzas — we refuse to eat any homemade crap). Well, just before the lunch ended, she covered up her cookies and took them. Our buddy Scott who was sitting with us saw this and called her out for stealing more food. She said that she baked those cookies, so he asked if we missed our opportunity to have them. She said yes but gave him one cookie and took the rest and ran out the door. Moron.

I actually won a door prize at the potluck, which was funny because I wasn’t going to go (seeing as though my appendix burst the day after the last potluck — bad, bad memories). I got a pack of those chocolate oranges that you smash on something and they break apart. Loudly, I declared, “Hey, I need a blunt object to smash these on. Oh, wait, there’s Town Crier!” Only thing was, I used her real name. 🙂

Town Crier also got a door prize. What they do is line all the winners up and have us draw numbers for whatever prize we’ll get. Shan said that, when Town Crier was called up, she said the look of pure disgust on my face was visible from her seat about 50 feet away. Heh. I don’t even try to hide it. I would’ve been more than happy to administer a door prize to Town Crier — like my foot up her ass.

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