Personal Ad Hell

I decided to hide my personals profile, and I should do the same with my ad on I still haven’t gotten any responses to my ad, so I am going to leave that one up for awhile. Besides, on the last one, I was a bit outrageous and asked for, well, what I really want. And that’s probably why I’m not getting it!!! lol is being bitchy and telling me that I have to purchase a membership package in order to respond to recent letters I’ve received from other members. Humph. Never had to do that before. With, you have to purchase a membership before you can even read the letters you’ve received (and they keep telling me that my inbox has quite a few responses, but I have to pay to open my inbox). Fuckers. Look, I know that it isn’t some philanthropist named Cupid who is operating these sites, but based on the yo-yos I’ve either met or with whom I’ve had discussions, I am loath to pay to meet more morons, when I can do that for free at the bar at Bennigan’s. 😉

Recently, I got a response from “Robbie” (that’s what he calls himself). Seemed nice and fun and a tad bit scary, all at once. Then he sent me a link to his website, and well, the photo totally turned me off. I’m not into horror and gore and shit like that, and well, considering that I’ve never met the guy and this is my first impression of him, well, I can’t say that I’m dying to meet him in person.

But it gets worse. He said he’s an aspiring writer and mentioned that he’d love it if I’d be willing to critique some of his fiction (as I am a writer for a living). I said, sure, send me something and I’d be glad to read it. Well, he sent something two days ago that I still haven’t managed to bring myself to read. When I saw it in my email, it was named “assgas~1.doc.” Ugh. I let it sit in my inbox for half a day before I actually opened it to learn that the title was actually “ass gasket” — what the f@*k?!?! Perhaps it is a brilliant story, and I am just too prissy to get past the title, but gaaah, would a normal single man send something like this to the lady whom he’s trying to impress?

I sent a quick note late last night, stating that the title scared me and that when I found the time (and hint, hint, the inclination) to open this document, I’d get back with my critique. That still hasn’t happened. 🙂 I shared the web photo with Tiff and IKEA Boy and Mikey, and they were all slightly horrified and all of them told me to NOT e-mail back. Thank goodness, I didn’t share my last name or place of employment. Thank goodness.

With RK, I shared all of my personal stuff right away. I wanted to get to know him, and I wanted him to know me. I had such a good feeling about him, like he would be in my life for a long time to come. How was I to ever predict that he’d fall off the face of the fucking earth?!?! I’m disappointed that my intuition told me that he was special. My sixth sense usually pegs people correctly from the get-go, and it’s sad that I had a whole lotta hopes for him, for nothing.

At any rate, this new guy emailed me, named Brian. But I can’t respond to his charming introductory letter till I pay a RECURRING membership fee at That’s how they screw you … they keep on billing your credit card. It’s $25/month, with different plans that go up to $100/yr. I would NEVER pay for those services for a year (in the hopes I’d meet someone sooner than that). But I don’t have $25 to spare right now (I have two phone bills on my bed, each totaling more than $60, for phone service I don’t even fucking use because all normal people on earth use their cell phones for everything and I hate wasting what little fucking money I have on a fucking landline. Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ!!!! ARGH!!!).

But I’ll never win that battle, so why even keep trying? Even IKEA Boy is trashing his landline. I’d love to show MCI (like I showed Verizon) that I can live just fine without their monthly bills.

At any rate, I have to pay $25 before my e-mails will go through to Brian (and I tried pushing them through, but keeps reminding me to pay before I try it again). I’m not sure what to do. At this point, I took down my personal ad for awhile. If I can’t reply to my responses, why even have the ad out there? Like IKEA Boy told me tonight, I should just go into a bar and pick somebody up … it’s easier and cheaper!!! Plus, you get to see what they look like in person, and if you’re lucky, you won’t even have to talk to them all that much! lol. Sounds like a new plan to pursue. Stay tuned. …

Comments closed.