My thinking is nothing if not convoluted

Not like there is any semblance of order or stability to my life, but I just got a potentially life-altering idea. An idea that I think is a brilliant one but has significant and potentially terrible implications, especially if said Grand Idea should backfire. If it works — and to say it’s a LONG SHOT is an understatement — I would have many more positives, but also more negatives, to juggle.

But what will I be thinking in a year from now if I’d never taken the risks required to know the outcome, either way? Is it worth the risk to exchange “pretty good” when you don’t know what you could be exchanging it for?

Lord, the battle plans that everything involves. Is it me or is every friggin’ step you take actually the result of exhaustive tactical warfare in your own mind?

One Lonely Response to My thinking is nothing if not convoluted

  1. trouble :

    Yes, absolutely. I’m so internally f’ed up that deciding to date current boyfriend exclusively was exhausing. That was like 6 months ago, and now the M word has come up and every week I’m struggling with the fear of making another mistake.