I was just watching Maddie, thinking what an adorable, furry little muppet she is. She’s just lying on her back, waving her tail ever-so-languidly, with one paw above her head. I just said, “Puss!” and she looked at me and cooed. Maddie is quite the vocal cat, a “tweeter,” as my cousin Carole calls it. She’s always yapping about something or other. She’s so friggin’ sweet right now that I can’t hate her for the inch-long bloody scratch on my toe that she gave me this morning in a fit of un-catlike klutziness. 🙂

Call Me Carrie (Bradshaw, that is)

(Although I am most like Samantha, the spirit of “Sex and the City” sexpert columnist Carrie has seeped into my veins today.) Today’s topic: Friends and Blogs.

Lately, the blogs I faithfully read — of friends I’ve met and those I haven’t yet and may never — have moved into a phase of self-medicating through the most effective yet dangerous drug of all: introspection. I think we’re all dancing around the obvious: while we want to share ourselves with the Blogger community from the sanctity of our one-sided soapboxes, we find ourselves holding back. Are we afraid of being held accountable for the words we ache to write?

Instead of commenting about others’ blogs, I’ll take the leap and say it about my own: that which is in writing becomes an expectation, on the part of the reader as well as the writer. If you want to say that someone and/or something is driving you nuts, the person in question or someone who is likely to be impacted by your statements may be affected by a variety of factors that they can only infer: tone, facial expression, intent, etc. Just like career coaches tell you, smile when you answer the phone, ‘cuz people can tell when you’re not. Smile when you blog, and your readers smile with you. Or something like that.

Likewise, once you’ve mapped out your heart in black-on-white text (or whatever stylesheet you prefer), it’s there, staring you in the face every day, waiting for you to not necessarily own up to it, but rather own up to the responsibility for making a change because of it, even if that change is to simply accept it at face value.

Two weeks ago, I made a list of everything I need to do to make my life a success for me. And while I have debated posting it, it remains in the top drawer of my desk at work. My rationale: if no one has seen my private goals, no one can ask for a progress report. And if I want to change the goals, so what? Nobody will know about it.

I think it was Peter Drucker who said that if an organization has more than five goals, it has no goals. I learned this at Two Strikes, believe it or not, where HRP sets 45 unachievable goals a day for six (well, five, without me) overachievers to accomplish with full staffs of underachievers. Why are the goals unachievable? Lack of focus, and lack of faith in those who are supposed to execute those goals. And maybe even the lack of resources to accomplish those goals should round out the top three reasons.

And maybe, those three reasons (lack of focus, faith and resources), are precisely why I haven’t held myself accountable in the blogosphere for my own goals, of which there were about nine, but maybe I will narrow it down to five, in honor of Drucker, a man who made sense even in an organization that didn’t. 🙂

1. Supplement inner beauty with a commitment to improving the outward appearance (through regular gym visits, modified eating habits and small indulgences that mean the world such as manicures, flattering clothing and other girly pamperings).

2. Work for my own dreams in the form of starting side business(es) to enhance income and overall well-being until I can stop working for other people’s dreams and/or machines.

3. Write the novels and poems that are simmering beneath the surface of my psyche, because ignoring the need to share my story doesn’t exactly make it go away.

4. Maintain Inner Poise. I will admit to taking this one straight out of “Bridget Jones’s Diary” — but the girl was on to something. Inner Poise enables me to be gracious and pleasing in all areas of my life when I’d much rather prefer to beat somebody over the head with a scorching hot saucepan. Whether at work or with friends and family, I keep my temper and cattiness at bay and realize that I am the one who must live with all of my actions. Maintaining Inner Poise plays upon Goal #1 in that a girl needs to indulge herself spiritually as well as physically, and while some find that peace in church or in a cooking class, I find it with an episode of “SATC.” It incorporates realizing what the small pleasures are in life and not sacrificing those “dates” with yourself.

5. Maintain home. Now this might sound strange on such a list, but think about it … when all else is crazy in life, the home is where things should be free of chaos. Maintaining the home means, to me, a spotless kitchen and bathroom and an otherwise tidy rest of the place (I’m no neatnik by any means, but clutter really does make me berserk). And I know the household is not my responsibility alone, but it has to meet my own standard, at the very least.

These are my lifelong personal goals. SM has a list of her own, and earlier this month, I posted our shared goals (i.e., attract and keep Mr. Right, etc.). But I felt the need to share my personal goals for the exact reason I stated above: accountability. I neither need nor desire feedback from anyone on the quality of the goals, nor do I owe status reports, excuses or explanations for any of my words or pending actions. Further, goals are subject to change at any time.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a hot date with my beautiful little Calico, who is waiting for me to play “Fucker Mouse” with her. :::smile:::

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