Hugs to heaven

Dear S.,

Your old boss (the good one. Well, I was pretty OK too, but you know who I mean) has written many a scathing memo about people who start off their stories with song lyrics.

Don’t tell bad stories, he writes. Tell interesting ones. Nobody knows your music, either. Get over yourself.

I will politely refrain from listing all the songs I’ve been listening to. (Although, “Seasons in the Sun.” You gotta admit the line about “too much wine and too much song” was totally us, right?)

I do have another musical interlude, though. This time, it was “your” song — or, at least, one of the ones I associate with you.

I got into the car late today. Turned on The Gater, as one does when one cannot stand another political discussion on NPR. And there was “Simple Man,” in its entirety. (My little Skynyrd fan …)

You and one of our editors bonded over that song. I bet he’s somewhere hearing it too and thinking of you. (Update: I had to go and crush his soul and be the one to tell him about you. He’s so sad now, too.)

Today is a better day for me, I guess, overall. I haven’t taken off my sunglasses since Sunday. My hair hasn’t seen the outside of a slew of colorful headwraps ever since, either. I keep forgetting to reply to people but you know what? When I do, they are gracious and kind and happy to hear back eventually.

There is good in this world. We found a whole lot of it in our circle. I forgot about that.

Milton saw me sitting outside looking sad. You know him — the sweet guy who works on cars next door to our work building. He offered to buy me a cold drink. Love that guy. I almost told him about you. But I didn’t want to shatter another smile today.

I don’t remember much these days (how many times did I have to walk back to my car this morning for my laptop and purse?). But I remember the right things that (sigh of relief) really weren’t long-forgotten.

It’s not just that I miss you — I have missed you for a long time now. It’s just a whole lot more palpable when the possibilities run out.

Thank you for sending me your song.

Sending hugs to your heaven,

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