Friday Five

1. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do, but never have?

Fall in love. New subject. 🙂

2. When someone asks your opinion about a new haircut/outfit/etc, are you always honest?

Mostly. I won’t say “Sweet Jesus, where’s the Wide Load sign?” — but I will suggest that perhaps a different cut or color or length would be more flattering, when talking about clothes. Hair is a sensitive subject for me, so I go to great lengths to avoid talking about it. And I rarely ask for feedback on my own appearance.

3. Have you ever found out something about a friend and then wished you hadn’t? What happened?

Yes, but no. Whenever I find out something disturbing or that could be construed as TMI, I have to deal with it myself (i.e., if someone is drinking too much or doing drugs or being self-destructive or abusive toward someone), I just have to face my own experiences, memories, prejudices, whatever before I can truly be a strong shoulder for that friend. And no matter what, everybody needs someone who can listen to them without judging them.

I’ve had experience chatting with folks who are interested in the same person I was interested in, and it hurt like hell on the occasions when I was at the far end of the triangle. But I’ve got this incredible ability to spring back and help my friends, even at the expense of my own feelings. In one situation, I was told, “My god, you’re resilient.” This was coming from the guy I was interested in who wanted one of my friends (how dare he! hee hee). Don’t get me wrong, I was aching inside, but I didn’t show him that. And I did get over it, because it obviously wasn’t meant to be because we haven’t spoken in years, but not because of that. Our friendship did grow stronger after all the revelations, which was probably as much of a benefit of having him as something more.

I did give up on a friend a few years back who was self-destructing and hurting people in her path. I stuck around for a long time, trying to listen, to reason with her. But to no avail. She became a complete drain on my capacity to love someone unconditionally, because every conversation revolved around her. I could be bleeding from the head, but her problems were always more important. So I quit answering the phone when she called. She finally got the hint and found other people to dump on.

On the flip side, just as that situation was ending, I was entering a time when I had to make the hardest decision of my life. And I lost some friends because of this decision I made that they didn’t agree with. But that’s OK … obviously they weren’t good friends to begin with, and I don’t need people who can’t love me, no matter what I do.

4. If you could live in any fictional world (from a book/movie/game/etc.) which would it be and why?

I am the heroine of my own tragic romance novels, I swear. That’s part of why I started writing books — I enjoyed reading all kinds of literature, but I didn’t see any genres really, truly aimed at me. So I created my own. I suppose I am the main character, and although the book life is not the life I’d necesarily pick for myself, it has made for some interesting fantasies in my mind as I try to lay down the plotline. The bottom line is, writing these stories is like self-medication — I draw on my own experiences and write them the way I wish they could have happened.

5. What’s one talent/skill you don’t have but always wanted?

I want to be able to sing or play bass guitar. Or both. I don’t know — music is the touchstone of my life, next to writing. In fact, all of my books revolve around the music industry (I’ve always wanted to be a music publicist), and my chapters oftentimes begin with song lyrics. At one point, I was feeling ambitious and wrote dozens of my own songs (ages 10-16), and maybe three of them are actually decent “power ballads” that reflected my love of glam metal ballads at the time. 😉

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