Blessed and highly favored. For real, yo

So, I saw daylight three nights this week. Sure, the sun doesn’t set till 8:30 p.m. but still. Don’t ruin it for me. 🙂

Actually I left reasonably on time yesterday and today. My Daily Albatross was done and put to bed before 5 today and before 3 yesterday. I wouldn’t say I have had my best days at work ever (those would be when my cute male friend still worked there and we spent every lunch hour together … and then I’d leave work at a reasonable time and go volunteer every night), but they’ve been the best this year.

They could get even better if I could make it to a doctor’s appointment or get mom to some sort of person who could find us healthcare for her. But you know. One year at a time.

So I have very good offers for vacations this year:

1. California
2. D.C.
3. Pittsburgh
4. Europe
5. New York (again and yes, please!)

I have three weeks of vacation to burn. After I lost 40 hours last year, I know I will never get paid for them.

But there’s no one to do my work. So anywhere I go, the work comes with me. And you’ve never met someone so adamant about “It is not my fucking problem for five goddamned days” than me.

As it looks, I either lose all those hours or lose big opportunities to go from flamed-out to just a little burned-out. You could toast marshmallows over my ass without even striking a match, that’s how through I am.

So, sure, I should have probably stayed later than I did this week. But they get my heart during the normal hours more when I can have evenings to myself.

Don’t worry, I won’t get used to this.

The thing about all my vacation opportunities is that I would only have to pay to get myself there. And if there’s one thing in life I have NEVER regretted, it’s boogie-ing out of town and seeing a bit more of the world.

Of course, my “hotel” money goes straight to mom — so she can eat and buy all the shit I normally have to buy for the house. So I get screwed there. But to get out of town? HERE IS A BLANK CHECK. And yes, I know I have to deposit that check because she can’t, but still. WORTH IT.

I think a lot about the job that let me go with no warning, other than being treated like shit by people who aren’t qualified to hold my toilet paper or wipe my ass. (A recurring theme if I stop to think about it.) I took my vacation time, went to happy hours with my good friend and basically played as hard as I worked. I loved that.

I just wish one could work hard and feel secure in their vocation. It’s impossible. I don’t even think it’s the economy (stupid) — I think it’s the people who are conditioned to let you work yourself into your own grave and they’ll just find someone else to do whatever you did. And while they will appreciate the nuances you brought to it, they tend to find they can easily live without it.

Of course, I’m feeling good today. Talked with an old friend in the field very briefly. Haven’t seen him in three years, but I thought of him out of the blue and I was thrilled that he remembers me fondly.

It’s good to have exchanges like those, that validate that you are something special indeed and fuck everybody who forgets it from time to time — even if that “everybody” includes you, yourself sometimes.

Thanks, friend. Thank you, God and Universe, for such a good day. I can honestly say, if someone asks how I am, “I’m blessed and highly favored.” For today, anyway, but I’ll take it as I type on my laptop on my waterfront balcony. All good in the ‘hood, and I cherish every second of it.

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