Almost OK

Got 15 hours of sleep. Just woke up, actually. That’s more shut-eye than I got during this whole week combined.

I’m just kind of sad and shaky right now. When your best friend in the whole world is leaving town, a part of your heart breaks that you know shouldn’t be breaking. You remind yourself that she’s leaving for better opportunities, more help with her infant daughter, and a chance to — for the first time in her life — create not only a happy ending, but also a pleasant journey for herself and her family.

We will probably bump into each other one more time before her flight on Monday, but we kind of left it at, “See ya next month,” because I’m aspiring to get on a plane in late August or so to visit. But I was weepy, of course. We’ve been spending every waking minute together. I have some 1,600 unread e-mails in the Caterwauling account alone, and I know some are from you guys, with words of support, encouragement and happy thoughts. And I love you all for it. One day, when life slows down just a smidge, I’ll read/respond. But thanks for thinking of me. 🙂

Yesterday, I saw Alex for the last time till next month. And who can resist this adorable little face:

Right now, I should be getting ready for a huge night on the town in honor of Angie’s 29th birthday. I have nothing to wear and no motivation to do laundry or start primping. We’ve got a roster of D.C.-area bars on the horizon to hit, and it should be great fun. However, I am not great fun. I want to go back to sleep. I have to figure out a gift (been too busy to shop) and also figure out what will fit over my fat, bloated, menstrual ass this evening.

Anyway, like I said in the title, I am almost OK. Just not quite there yet. While I will most definitely feel Shan’s absence, I know we will both fight to stay in touch as often as possible. And I signed up to become a Passion Parties consultant (read: friendly neighborhood vibrator salesperson!), so when that kit arrives, I’ll be scheduling parties and trying to earn back my initial investment as quickly as possible. And I understand that a lot of people going out tonight may be potential party hostesses. And between Angie and me, we probably own half of the products in the catalogs, so I know I can count on her to boost sales with personal endorsements!

As a reward for watching Alex for a whole week (which I did because I love my girls, not for any kind of recognition — I don’t do favors to get favors), Shan gave me the money to get my car fixed. I fought it, of course, but she left it in my purse when I was meeting with H.R. about Uncle Saturday Night’s unwanted advances. She knows I miss my family desperately — she wants me to get the car fixed and get my ass up to Pittsburgh to see my mom and grandfather ASAP. I told her that I would pay her back, and she said, “Like hell you will — it’s a gift.” So I promised to help put Alex through college. She said she has no doubt that I will write a bestselling book and filter some proceeds into a college fund, so she said she’ll take that when it happens. 🙂

Anyway, things really are looking up around here. Truly, they are. I am just having trouble getting to the point of feeling well enough to throw myself into the projects I’ve created. But the day will come. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

On iTunes: Tracy Chapman, “Telling Stories”

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