I work for morons. I work with morons. And I have morons working for me (well, one in particular).

All in all, a typical day in the neighborhood (envision Fred Rogers tossing his sneakers around, to the tune of “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”).


I’ve always wanted a Blog, and here I am, inspired by my dear Lab Rat pal, who will also become my new roommate in a few short weeks!

Yup, we’re hittin’ the bricks (cheesy Pittsburghese, but forgive me … I’m a native!) very soon … D.C. or Bust, baby!

I’m slowly telling the gang that I’m almost outta here. There’s an unmistakable mixture of sadness and excitement and relief from my cohorts. One in particular (I shall call him “Brat”) wants to help me move so that he’s certain that I’m gone for good. (I warned him today that he will never forget me … and he’d better not!) But I’ll come back around the ‘Burgh like a scorching case-o-herpes, I can see it now. I’ll be leaving behind too many special folks. The good thing is, Lab Rat and I have become fast friends who share a love of mocking the ignorant, so I know we’re gonnna have a blast in Virginia.

Nobody seems to be surprised, though, at the impending move. Most people are wondering why I never did it sooner. I feel like I’ve been sitting around, waiting for something to happen. But what? At least by moving, I am ensuring that something, anything will happen. And will it turn you-know-who around and make him realize that he can’t live without me? Time will tell. Or he’ll just be his usual passive self and decide it just wasn’t meant to be.

His loss.

My job interview is April 22. I have some apprehension, of course, but I learned that they are just as nervous because my resume and my current salary are so damn impressive that I might not want to join their organization for a huge pay cut, and for the first three months, a not-so-high job title. Whatever. If The Doc knew how to treat me, I’d have stayed with her forever. But since she morphed into a Heinous Bitch shortly upon my entry through the gates of her hell, and hasn’t morphed back into the icky-sweet fake that I always knew her to be, well, I know when it’s time to go.

I will, however, be sad to part with F/OM and the rest of the Operations Team. They have made a home for me in their little corner of the hornet’s nest. F/OM really seems to believe in me, so I think he will be the most disappointed by my news. I feel kinda bad that I didn’t even put in a full year there, but he knows I’ve been unhappy for the past six months of my 10-month tenure. Of course, the source of F/OM’s impending discord may be for the fact that he will have to supervise the Incoherent Twit till they find a replacement for me!!! Ha!!!!!

At any rate, it’s been a day. Looking forward to posting more incoherent bullshit in the very near future! Caterwauling rocks!

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