I Crap In a Box

I'm Maddie, a fabulous foul-mouthed Calico from Washington, D.C. I sleep, whine and poop a lot. Swearing like a sailor and vomiting like a supermodel round out my typical day. Tormenting my sister also warms my heart!

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Kadi gets loose!

Thanks to moi, of course!

In the last post, Mommy told you how Kadi's too dumb to open doors, so I have to do it for her.

Well, as we visit the land of my not-too-bright sister, well, I let her out of the house yesterday. And who's Mommy furious at? Kadi. *muahahaha*

Mommy went out on the balcony last night to call Grandma (as she gets bad cell phone reception in our house), and she (as always) closed the screen door behind her.

Well, the door might've been closed, but it wasn't locked, like it usually is. So while Mommy was busy yapping and scowling at the 400 neighborhood kids who always gather under our balcony to raise hell, I took it upon myself to jump up and slide the door open a crack.

Kadi, of course being the idiot that she is, squeezed herself out of the crack and started running around the porch.

Mommy jumped 10 feet, hung up the phone, and chased Kadi for 10 minutes. I was hoping the little dumbshit would just jump off the balcony and either commit suicide or at least run away. And because Mommy still hasn't gotten an ID tag for her, nobody would bring her back here if they found her!

Kadi hid behind our grill (that the dumb bitch Mommy still doesn't know how to use) and under the grill cover. So when Mommy would go lift the cover, Kadi would shoot to the other end of our 18-foot balcony.

I don't know how she did it, but Mommy managed to outrun her and scruffed her up like a mama cat would. Kadi was pissed, but she deserved some punishment for sneaking out. (Meanwhile, I watched the whole thing -- don't think I was going to walk out on the porch and get my own furry ass in trouble!)

So Mommy put her in her cage and let her sit on the porch in her cage. Kadi was scared of all the nasty, loud kids below us, and she howled till Mommy took her back inside and let her run around.

Mommy closed and locked all the porch doors after that.

And I got extra treats for being a good puss. ;)

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