I Crap in a ... Tub?

Rejected title: Pooping on porcelain

I have had it with the lazy bitch who is my Mommy, as today is the one-week anniversary of us living in our new house and my litterbox is stankin' up the place!!! So, I crapped in the tub ... leaving her a loving pile of big, luscious, round and healthy turds. My ass was most satisfied with my work.

The bitch got up and yelled at me when she went to take her shower. Hey, you know what -- I could have crapped on the brand-new carpet, but instead, I chose to poop on porcelain, which made for much easier cleanup. But then again, there is now a brown stain in the glowing white tub from my skid marks. Not like I care -- I immediately got new litter after Mommy took her shower!!! Yay!