Where's my blue rug?
Rejected title: Butt chunks o'plenty
I used to have a blue bathroom rug, upon which I loved to shat. But now it's at the new apartment, so I can't wait to get there to rub my furry butt cheeks along its plush goodness.
But today, I needed to void my bowels, and the litterbox just wasn't good enough. Oh, no, it stunk to high heaven, and I didn't want to put my clean ass upon week-old poop clumps. Alas, I howled for Mommy to awaken, but she was annoyed and put me outside her room, slamming the door in my little whiskered face. Well, I decided to get back at her, so I shat on the bathroom floor.
But before you think I am a mean and spiteful cat, let me tell you that I went to Mommy's door after my colon was cleansed, and I howled like a cat outta hell. So Mommy got up and with her usual (lack of) morningly charm and grace, she snarked, "WHAT?!?!!" I led her to where my butt chunks lay, and she surprised me by petting me and laughing. She told me that she just couldn't get mad, 'cause I am so very smart that I tell her when I've left her presents on the floor, so she doesn't step in it and get her feet all muddy.
She changed the litterbox after flushing said butt chunks into the Potomac River.