I don’t need to rehash the news but if you missed it, the Twitter hashtag #YesAllWomen has all you need to know.

The best thing I’ve read is that it’s not that all men have been total douchelords to women, but rather that all women have endured some form of degradation, abuse or humiliation at the hands of a man.

I try not to go too deeply into my memory banks, or too specifically into detail. But yes, the latter part of that earlier statement is definitely true.

I think what’s been most-pervasive in my day is that men who are unattractive, underearners, underachievers or otherwise not exactly anybody’s dream come true have seemed to think I owed it to them to want to be with them, for the mere fact that I am not a skinny girl.

I’ve had a few even dare to say to me that I should be lucky to have any man look at me.

Some have also been fortunate enough to endure my left hook. Which, is pretty kickass, considering I’m a righty.

I wouldn’t say I am a vestal virgin by any means. But I remember some incidences throughout my long-gone youth where I settled, shall we say. Amy Schumer delivered a brilliant speech at the Ms. Gala into which you could insert my name one or three times.

That didn’t last long, though. I realized early on the power I wielded. They were LUCKY to have me. I was GIVING THEM time with me that I could have been spending alone or with someone else.

Do not DARE to even TRY to make me feel lesser than your lesser ass. That I am LUCKY to have you and you could do better but you’re slumming it with me.

KISS MAH PUDGY PORK ROAST ASS if that’s the attitude you dare to have around me.

So, yeah. Single and newly 40. And guess what? I never settled another day in my life after THAT revelation.

The thing is, there are enough people trying to make you feel stupider, slower, less “in” in all areas of your life. I rule my bed and what limited personal time I have.

And frankly it amuses me when men approach me like I should be rolling out a red carpet to have garnered their attention.

Like, really? Let me whip out my Facebook and introduce you to the high-quality guys I DID attract, thank you very much.

Anyway, no details. But memories, I haz ’em. Recent ones, too. VERY recent. I don’t need anyone to love me. But I also don’t need anyone who wants to tell/treat me they can do better.

THEN BY ALL MEANS DO SO. Because, I sure as hell will. It’s not that hard, actually.

Comments closed.