Unsettled

I’m starting to think I’ve picked the wrong everything down here.

I have friends I haven’t talked to in months or even years. And others … I wonder about.

I have been talking a lot about boys lately and that’s just ridiculous, frankly. They don’t take up all that much real estate in my head or in my limited free time.

Mostly they’re imaginary figments in my phone, thinking it’s OK to text me when they have a drink (or something else) in their hand.

It isn’t.

And now that it’s “out there” that it is, let me stuff that genie back in its bottle.

I have too much self-respect. And too many other problems.

I think we all know I do as little to tempt fate as possible. And if I am going to take a risk, it has better be worth it.

I assure you, it usually isn’t and therefore I’m saving all this goddess-y goodness for what is.

I’ve often mentioned being the child of a psychic. It’s mostly only resulted in me having a killer sense of intuition. I don’t see the future and I don’t talk to dead people. But when my spirit guides tap me on the shoulder, I feel it. I may IGNORE it for a while, but I’m hyper-aware.

Had an interesting series of dreams these last few nights. Mostly fun and good. But last night I said to my guides to please reveal to me whether someone is true to me or not.

I admit I was hoping for another good dream.

I didn’t get one.

Oh I dreamed of that person all right. And in the dream, different people came to me, repeating things that person had said. Lies built out of wisps of truths to make them believable.

And to what end, really? I could never figure that out. I expected to have things I’d said repeated, but not quite so embellished. It led me to shouting at a closing elevator door.

I did see X at the end of the dream, looking guilty. In the dream I said, “I will forgive you because that is what I do. What you choose to do with that is up to you.”

I don’t know the resolution. I do know that I am unsettled. And I don’t quite know what to do with it other than continue being a good person and doing a better job of vetting kindred spirits.

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