Udder Butter

Mom and I were talking about someone I’ll call Udder Butter.

How, for as much as this ghoulish POS hates me, there is no one under the sun who checks in on me more. Maybe I should be grateful to have a not-so-secret admirer?

In any event, I went for the third-or-is-it-fourth test for something today. Was literally providing supervision from the inside of an MRI tube.

Which UB puts down, working hard and finishing a job. But she puts down everyone and everything. So, personal responsibility and pride in my work and in my team will clearly elude her.

She wouldn’t know what it’s like to have someone whose house is underwater across the state and WANT to alleviate some worry from them.

This is someone who tells colleagues she can’t pick up food from a restaurant she waddles past at the mall because it’s against her religion. I wish I could be a fly on those walls.

Enough about that twit. It took all these damn tests for me to be told, hey, you’re good. See ya in six months.

I still don’t know how ol’ Udder Butter was thinking of me when people were pulling on her teats. Truly, I was just trying to breathe.

But hey, at least if I dropped dead, UB would be the first one to notice my absence.

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