Watching that Salmon Stalin attack the press today, after President Obama’s lyrical farewell last night — amid reports that the PEEOTUS (heh) paid Russian prostitutes to piss on his orange oppressor ass — killed me. KILLED ME. 

He’s like facing your captor or rapist or shitty ex boss after you’ve escaped and started NOT twitching and bursting into tears every time you see a shadow that isn’t yours. 

Pathetic Pumpkin Patriarch. Guava Gorbachev piece of shit. Yellow Yeltsin. Peach Plutarch. Apricot Autarch. Twitler son of a bitch

Where was I? 

I remember being appalled at my dumbass friends who hated Obama who posted terrible shit about him. I thought, who could have that much hatred in their heart to risk professional ruin with what they said?

I get it now. As I wear my snake pin with the “don’t touch my pussy” admonishment. Like I did today. God I get it. 

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