This is it.

South Ocean at Christmas

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

I giggle at this Charlie Brown palm tree every night of my life. There are so many beautifully decorated palms in my area, but then there’s this half-assed wonder.

And yet, now that I’ve captured its ridiculousness for the world to see, I’ve developed an unexpected fondness for it.

I’m sure that’s a metaphor for something else.

I think back to when my grandparents were still alive, how I would not want to go back to the mother ship for the holidays, and my mother always swore that it might be the last holiday I saw them alive.

I always hated that. And eventually, the opportunities to visit evaporated, but I made sure to enjoy the times I *did* make the effort so that the regrets weren’t as bad as they could have been.

Similarly, I’m training myself to live like this is it. (Here’s a great blog entry from Gaping Void, telling us to fight like hell, because this is it.)

Like when I drive to work, do I take the scenic route or the slightly faster one? I mean, I spend the drive on the phone most of the time anyway, but I’d rather enjoy the beauty of the A1A because, hey, it could all end tomorrow.

Not to be fatalistic like Mom was, but I like to think of it as being realistic. I had $50 to my name yesterday (and none today) and should have bought groceries for Mom and me, but I said fuck it and took us to lunch at the Old Key Lime House instead.

But, can you blame me, when this was the view from my table?

Anyway, who the hell knows what’s next for any of us in this life. But just as I’d rather have one exquisite waterfront dining experience rather than a week’s worth of food, I’m taking an attitude of “don’t wait to love it or experience it.”

Because, as I’m hoping, the more experiences I collect, the more — bigger and better ones — will present themselves to me.

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