The ugly lights

I can see from my drunk post from last night that I may be able to spell dirty things correctly in a text, but not a two-word title in a public blog.

In any event, last night was … a typical Goddess night out.

Any of you who have gone out with the REAL Goddess — not the sweet and kind and “oh, just one or two drinks GEE I have to get up early tomorrow” bastardized version of myself that I trot out in mixed company — will know that I met up with my old drinking buddies Mayhem, Destruction and the Devil Himself.

And we had a party.

No these aren’t the nicknames of my human drinking companions. Although they came out too. 🙂

All I can say is this. I could write about six episodes of “Sex and the City” after last night. I was always the Samantha of my group of friends at the time (because, easy) but I’ve turned into Carrie in my old age.

And I embrace my flawed and fucked-up glory even when I probably shouldn’t.

I’m calling it research. And not what it is — being 40 and daring and still the center of male attention when I walk into a booze-filled room … And making the most of it.

I will share one story from last night. But just one.

Spoken by the newest friend I made (third? fourth? It was all a blur) after I lost track of my friends at 4 a.m., “Wow, the ugly lights came on and you’re still gorgeous.”

I tend not to accept compliments too well from my suitors. Because I never can tell if they really do think I’m pretty or whether my eyes really are amazing, or whether they’re just trying to get into my pants.

I did not give Tyler my number. I told him I wouldn’t pick up. He gave me his and I said I’m not going to call. He seemed genuinely hurt. He cupped my face in his hands and said, “You’re married.” And he wouldn’t stop looking into my eyes.

I didn’t answer. I’m not, obviously. I just know what I want. And I didn’t think he could give it to me. I don’t know whether, in the ugly light of day, anyone can or will or even would.

I have many more stories that will make for some VERY good blog posts in five years when I am finally ready to talk about it all.

Today, however, is just not that day.

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