Speed Round

My favorite finpub often ends with a page of random crap about the writer’s life. I used to hate it until I realized I’d rather read about his cats than his attempts at arbitrage.


1. I’ve had “Hands Clean” on repeat on Apple Music. That song is 20 years old and it never stops being relevant.

2. One of my employees is having her cat put to sleep as I type this. Between that and all the recent hoomin deaths, I’m cried the fuck out.

3. Every time I ask my tarot deck about someone, I get The Emperor. See item No. 1.

4. One of my favorite employees resigned. I countered today. Been trying to make departmental changes for months, including giving her a promotion.

5. Corporations move so slow. Too slow.

6. I’m interviewing/testing four candidates for another role. Now I have this opening. And another opening. And I still haven’t made the structural changes that I’ve been proposing since November.

7. And we’re launching seven new products.

8. Tried a new doctor’s office. Only marginally less unhappy with it. Staying with the previous one with the state of the art facility and the doctor who keeps her hand on the door, the physician’s assistant who screams in my face and the medical assistant who couldn’t find a vein with a goddamned Hubble telescope. Maybe.

9. It’s rarely the friends I miss who call. My Japan team calls me more than anyone. Usually at 6:30 in the morning.

10. Writing one last performance review before I have to do 18 of them in May. Never thought this is where my journalistic/writing career would end up.

Just make sure you don’t tell on me, especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world
‘Cause you’re such a pretty thing when you’re done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body.

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