Soul Circle
Someone told me their belief is that the family you build here on earth, is the family you’ll have in heaven.
That’s a Mormon thing. Bound for eternity.
They said that to me when mom passed. I think it was their way of offering comfort.
And even then, I wasn’t so sure.
On another occasion, I told him about this great love that never worked out. And we had agreed, “Next life.” As this one was not meant to be.
I don’t know that this person is open to ideas. It doesn’t matter. As long as WE aren’t bound for eternity.
I suppose we both believe in a soul circle.
But I had asked a psychic long ago, what if I don’t want someone in my circle anymore?
The psychic had explained that we all vibrate at different frequencies. So when we all go, if our vibrations aren’t a match, we won’t cross paths in the hereafter.
I couldn’t get much reassurance on future lives — like, can I please avoid Psycho and Beetlejuice and the Treadmill Lady.
But that would assume we’d all choose to incarnate again … or do so at the same time.
In any event, I got to thinking about the owner of the company. How lovable he is. Don’t get me wrong, likable isn’t always easy. but lovable, yes.
Him, I would work for again. Not any single one of the people he hired above me.
Like, I hired a little soul circle. I’m crazy about them. We can all meet up again.
Of course, I meant to write about the ethereal soul circle, but it’s back to being all about work.
Mom’s dying wish was for me to do good/be good/eat good.
Her LIVING wish was for me to find something else to do with my life.
We had a stressful company meeting this week. The nice thing I’ll say about it is my boss had the respect for me to prepare me for it.
A friend called me after and said wow I didn’t realize how unimpressive (list of names) were.
I said yeah try sitting in a Tuesday meeting with all of them, talking about nothing. But somehow I am the reason why the company isn’t living up to Joseph Smith’s First Vision.
It kind of clicked for me that I have shown bosses greatness. And any performance that’s less than greatness gets a low score and earns me stress that I’m not performing enough.
That same person who called, we had an emergency this week. I said to them oh I’m sorry, I have to write all these articles nobody is going to read. I don’t have bandwidth for emergencies anymore.
It was sarcastic. And I learned about the situation and realized there was nothing I could do about it anyway. But cue Paris Paloma, “YOU MAKE ME DO SO MUCH LABOR.”
Emotional labor.
In any event, my ethereal soul circle is probably sick of me.
I haven’t asked them for any help lately, though.
Ain’t that the way. The more fucked up life gets, the less I reach out to my ancestors.
Don’t get me wrong. I know THEY know.
I need to work today (Sunday). But I need to clean and feed my altar.
Well-fed ancestors protect you from thirsty bitches.
In any event, my unimpressed friend is so glad to be on my team.
I refuse to accept hearing the word “lazy.” If having bandwidth is lazy … OK.
Wait till the zine writers revolt over the new mandatory daily meeting before the market opens.
I can’t believe how much money I am about to spend to stay outside Pittsburgh for two weeks, to be working every day but the day I fly in.