Random theater, matinee edition

Fat free, salt free, butter free popcorn available. 

1. Day 8 of being sick. But damn did I love working from home. No driving my clunky old car. No fighting with the garage gate. No panicking when I see ticket-happy cops (unless you drive a Benz or Bentley). No almost getting run over as a pedestrian.  No panicking or drama. 

2. Lost 2 pounds. Food just hasn’t appealed. It’s been a lot of eggs and tofu and veggies and soup and fruit this week.  Which is fine by me. 

3. I use the weight watchers app more than Facebook. I love the new Connect feature. It’s Facebook for fat people. All the comments are positive and encouraging. Lots of inspirational before and after photos. But if I’m being honest, most people look better fat. Honestly. I think everyone should be happy at 200 pounds because they generally lose their character below it. 

4. I left Facebook for a while. I only post work stuff and get off. I went back for a minute this week to find out either nobody missed me or noticed I was gone. Except the colleagues near and far who use it to get to me. Which, don’t do that. Please. I am the queen of avoiding people. The phone will go into the ocean next. 

5. Fuck servers who argue with you. Two weeks ago I got raw food at a Mexican place. I told the server. She basically said sucks to be you and wouldn’t make it right. I tipped anyway and she snatched it out from under me. Yesterday I ventured to Lemongrass for soup. There’s an excellent one by work but the one  where I live is subpar. The food was so bad I returned it. Instead of saying sorry or whatever, the hostess argued with me for 20 minutes that she doesn’t believe I’m a a regular customer at the good location. Wtf. 

6. I think the upstairs neighbor died. Or had his toilet removed. Or got carpet. Because I barely heard him the past three days. However he still goes in all his drawers and drops bowling balls at 11:30-ish when I’ve been asleep for five minutes. And I can’t ever fall back. So he’s still alive for me to kill him. 

7. Republicans scare me. Republican  voters scare me. And I’m surprisingly irritated by Sanders supporters. I like him ok but fuck everyone and their free college and a pending 50% tax rate. I already support the rich and the poor and don’t have enough left over to take care of my own. 

8. Having no commute and no need to shower is what I want  in a state that’s not Florida. Or a United state, for that matter. Prepare the guest room, my international friend. If/when something happens to mom (and I think that day is uncomfortably close), you’re my first call. 

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