Quote of the week

To say a friend of mine married someone who isn’t good enough for her is the understatement of a lifetime. Don’t get me wrong — I love him to death, but he’s not the person I would have thought was most worthy of her.

And to add to this bizarre week, I’ll refrain from sharing why we’re plotting to take a machete to his balls and gold-dip them so she can have some “fuzzy” dice to hang from her rearview mirror, but I will use this opportunity to share the quote of the week that came out of it.

She called me yesterday to say she was on on her way to the hospital, and knowing the immediate danger that her husband’s scrotum is in, I said, “Oh, my god. Did you wound him?!?!”

And she shot back, “No — if I had, I’d be on my way to the morgue, not the hospital!” 😉

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