Not the worst idea I’ve heard lately

I’m already thinking about putting a moratorium on dating American men because, well, unless you can show me one who’s not selfish and spoiled and absolutely NOT worth the heartache they inevitably bring (and oftentimes on purpose), I’d be perfectly happier in a long-term relationship with my suitcase full of toys.

In any event, someone called my attention to “Older white women join Kenya’s sex tourism,” and I thought, awesome, now THERE’S an enterprising opportunity. Ship “cougars” by the busload (or boatload, I guess) over to Africa to find their “Winston” as they re-enact “How Stella Got Her Groove Back.” Ingenious.

I’m happy to give up my fantasies of being a kept woman in exchange for having enough money to rent a boy for the length of a vacation stay. Preferably one who is silent because, really, since when do any of them say anything without hurting our feelings or making us wonder if this is the best we’re ever going to do?

And let’s face it, is anyone really watching “Private Practice” because it’s a good show or am I the only one tuning in to see “Winston” all grown up? 😉

*pulling complaint bracelet around my neck because cutting off my oxygen is the only way I will stop bitching*

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