Not dying yet
Logged into the health portal and got the news:
No cancer detected.
I cried.
I mean, work will be what kills me, mark my words.
Just glad it won’t be the big “C.”
If I could make any wish right now, it’s that mom didn’t have to hear that she had cancer.
Especially how she had to hear it alone because I wasn’t allowed into the ER with her.
It wasn’t even that it was covid, it was that they had a dick cop at the front who told me to leave. And when I did get there, they shamed me for leaving because their policy was to let in next of kin.
Anyway I am glad to be out of the Baptist health system and into a better one.
I just wish we had done the same for mom.
Like, we didn’t take her to Moffitt because it was Tampa. But Baptist forced us into this world tour of Miami.
I know I should be relieved but now I have to go sit through a full day of meetings and then no doubt get yelled at tomorrow for a project I have slacked on for over a month that makes the publisher look bad.
Wasn’t my intention. But you know, I may be cancer free but mom’s still dead and I’m still so, so scattered and shattered.
Like the sign I just put on my door before I made my health appointments, “Aren’t you tired of learning the same lessons over and over again?”
I really am.
So tired.
Oh well. Treadmill time! (On Teams, not me.)
Also, no shit, Sirius.
