Moron overload, part deux

So I’ve been thinking there was something wrong with the car (other than the driver). My regular mechanic failed to catch it because they’ve hired a bunch of lazy assholes and the service has been rapidly declining, and my recent trip there was no different.

On Saturday, I tried five different mechanics. Five. One place was OK, just backed up and asked if I could come back Sunday, so I said no. I tried another place, a dealership that has several prominent locations, and I sat in the waiting area for 20 minutes with not a soul coming out to talk to me. Bastards. So I tried a Shell station (I’ll give you the name because I love to bitch, but I also don’t want to talk about where I’m spending my weekends in this public forum).

Anyway, there’s a reason the base word in Shell is HELL.

It was 11:30 a.m. and I had to hunt down the station manager, who didn’t look the SLIGHTEST bit busy. I purposely went to this never-busy station so I could get help. But alas, they close at 12, which was the first thing the asshole told me. I looked panicked, so he said, “Your car will be fine for another couple of days, right? Nothing’s going to fall off or you’re not going to get in an accident, right? Because we close at noon.”


I knew the car needed work. Expensive work. But I wasn’t giving his miserable ass the business. I said, “Fuck it, I’ve already tried four places. I’ll try five. But you may want to step out of the way when I pull out — wouldn’t want my car to lose control while I’m driving at, I mean PAST, you.”

He said, “Well, that answered that.”

I pulled out at 100 mph and he stayed out of my way. I flipped him off as I left.

I forget where I went next, but I finally ended up at another prominent dealership. Where I did get help. Go figure.

So the guy at the service desk asked to see my license so he could copy my address. I said it’s not a current address but he didn’t care. So he says, “You’ll just go home and wait till we call?”

I said, “I just told you I don’t live there. However, I will go hang out at the coffee shop up the road till you call.”

So an hour and a half later, I get the call that the car will need several hundred dollars’ worth of work and they’ll need another 2 1/2 hours. Christ.

I said fine, as I was desperate. And I proceeded to figure out how to waste a whole lot of time, as I’d surfed the Internet and listened to the iPod in my phone enough that the battery was halfway gone after a mere two hours of using it.

Anyway, I thought terrific, I’ll grab lunch. So I go to the restaurant next to the coffee empire, and I couldn’t even get waited on there. The cashier actually grabbed a mop and started cleaning while I read the menu. I finally pulled out some money and stood there, looking pitiful, and the idiot kept his back to me and the other four non-busy employees managed to never turn my way. Morons.

Seriously, the next time I’m picking a mechanic, I’m finding one next to a goddamned movie theater.

The car’s all better, and by “all better,” I mean that I had to save another round of repairs for a time when money starts growing on trees, as the latest batch ensured that I will be missing the next car payment and probably part of the rent. (The rent check I wrote yesterday is RUBBER.)


It kills me how HARD it is to spend money, and lots of it.

Don’t think I don’t have visions of burning down half of these establishments. I’m someone who not only goes the proverbial extra mile for my job, but I’ll go the extra goddamned DAY if that’s what it takes to produce quality work. Sure, I’m possibly paid better, although judging by the fact that the car parts cost next to nothing and the labor alone was well above $300, I’d say I’m not impressed by anyone else’s work ethic right about now. Why can’t everyone be as fabulous as me?!?! 😉

One Lonely Response to Moron overload, part deux

  1. Mel :

    I dunno how you get all the luck with these things. Last year I had some crazy luck with the mechanic too. Supposedly once a shop switches ownership they lose all the records! WTF?!?!