More, more, more

Currently Reading: “2015: The Year of More”

So many reactions. Not the least of which is yes I do live in a nice ZIP Code and boy did I hear wretched things about it from jealous people over the years. An ex-boss called me Gucci, because I cost more than she was used to paying her just-out-of-school minions and I came with a pedigree in our industry. She also was nuts that I lived where I lived, and she didn’t.

And now I even find myself qualifying that yeah it’s a nice neighborhood but man is the place a dump.

The thing is, every once in a while a genuine person comes along and celebrates the good with you and commiserates with the bad. Unfortunately, 98% of the time, they hate your victories and love what makes you miserable.

As such, yes we are taught to downplay what we have and want. I grew up in the projects so I especially identify with the “being afraid to want more” gene. I mean, I always DID want more and now I have it. But the fear never goes away.

It’s kind of a spiritual thing, too. I had a kooky religious friend who, when I’d say, “How are you?” each day, would reply, “Better than I deserve.”

But that’s what we do. We thank God for another day. We know it’s going to be a challenge. But it’s ours to seize, make a difference and, if nothing else, earn our paycheck.

That’s a struggle I think a lot of my friends have. Or maybe just the ones I admire. How do you balanceenough” with “goddamn it I work my ass off and I’m a good person and why can’t I have a little damn luxury without being terrified that I’ll lose it all”?

I think it’s that peace of mind is a luxury. For me it is. The second I found a job I liked that offered me balance, it ended in flames. The second I meet someone who actually makes me feel like being on this earth is a worthwhile experience, I get put in my place real fast. Ergo, when Goddess is happy, the world’s about to spin off its axis.

So, is the solution to never be happy, to never let the world know that you’re happy, or to keep dusting yourself off (as I try to) and hoping that happy isn’t something only reserved for a 1% that no amount of money or good deeds and a pure heart will buy me a place in?

So, yeah. The year of more. The author asks people to define what they want. A lot of people want a Coach purse or the ability to buy one. I think Coach is ugly and overpriced. But my sanity is worth a lot more than that.

So, I want to retire early (rich) at 45 and start my second career at 46. I want that damn year off to make up for all the vacations I’ve never had.

I want to triple my savings this year. That ain’t aiming big, trust me. But it is in fact “more.” And that’s the only way I can start to learn to STOP settling for less.

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