Let’s address the actual lazy elephant in the room
I was thinking about dead weight guy and Mythic Bitch.
How I have not known many marketers who are worth a good god damn in this field.
How most of the editorial people I’ve met have been unsung heroes.
And how marketers are Peter Principle’d to the highest heights … while ED people are just dogs begging not to get kicked today.
As I was up at 4 am panic editing, these thoughts came to me. Not for the first time. But cohesively.
Fucking Mythic Bitch — she’s over there feeling smug because she is on vacation and still checked in to shoot me down.
We all work on vacation, that isn’t impressive. My team writes entire newsletters on PTO because that’s the only fucking time no one is pinging us on Teams.
Except my boss — he seems to have an innate sense for when my two managing editors are out — that’s the only time they hear from him.
Look, we all know I hate Mythic Bitch for all those public excoriations she did of me.
But that faded after I quit caring.
I just hate her now because she stands on that stupid treadmill, bragging like Al Bundy about that fucking high school football game, crowing about her one achievement a year.
Which as I’ve pointed out, happens because we have a very experienced travel agency that does a lot of heavy lifting.
I called a fellow director yesterday who is KILLING me with busy work.
My boss claimed he didn’t know why I was getting all this new shit to edit.
My friend said we were TOLD to give it to you.
I was like brother, we were all full time busy before this. Delighted to accommodate this.
(It feels like someone thinks none of us are busy enough. Which … having non-writers send me a bonus 5,000 words a day — but not send THEIR SERVICES ANY ACTIONABLE TRADES — is a weird way to “fix” that but ok. I got you. And I still fucking want TRADES. I never wanted to commit to cranking out more free content whilst the paid isn’t where it needs to be.)
Instead of me being forced to meet with my own team 36 times a month … maybe we could have all talked to EACH OTHER first to get the process down?
Anyway I got to thinking in the shower about the employee event.
You know who I want to see work harder? Mythic Bitch.
Renting a fucking hotel no one else wants because who wants to sit in a hotel in Boca Raton … IS EASY.
Icebreakers are free.
I mean, we may end up at another stupid golf thing because that’s all there is to do in the Palm Beaches.
But, easy.
Calling Disney and getting professional event organizers to structure awards ceremonies and useful team building?
Effort.
I reached out to Disney last night.
I will die on this hill that it is easy to outshine heather. That’s why she’s such a pain in the ass. She’s insecure AF.
The only effort she puts into anything is making sure we don’t take her commissions.
She actually used that word at some point. and it clicked. she is commissioned.
Not me and my managing editors, who read/edit/write 200,000 words a week.
I will plan you fucking event FOR FREE — HAPPILY — to prove an actually busy person can do something the staff will love.
The good news is, more people have heard about my sinister plan to not waste our weekend. And I have 100% buy-in.
One of my fellow friends here just said look, boss favors nose to grindstone people.
I’m like OK so what’s saving MB then?
Also, I’ve had my nose to the grindstone for too many years. I finally found balance and boundaries. Maybe I took a little extra here and there to make up for the years of abuse. But I have never NOT been on top of my game (other than boss’ pet project that I still haven’t fucking worked on whilst working on this new onslaught from the research department).
For real — I haven’t even been as involved in a product launch as I normally would be. My staff have been angels about it. Angels!
They deserve Disney.
They deserve a good management team.
They deserve recognition.
They deserve to not absolutely want to die every day like we all have this week.
And what do I do best? It’s not edit. It’s lead.
And if my time here isn’t valuable enough to millennial management, then I walk out with my head held high.
And I’ll head straight to Disney, either way.