Keeping the Google karma in check until I get my order

First I’m going to burn down their building. Then I’m going to light myself on fire. But even before all that, I want what I paid for.

OK, five times they’ve shipped my order to the wrong place because they didn’t use all the information I gave them. This week? They lost the whole damned order. But they sure as hell didn’t forget to CHARGE me for it.

This is a product I run out of and need to replenish regularly. And god damn, do I spend the money on it. I’ve tried every available substitute and from places with better customer service (from which I just ordered one of the sub-par items for the low, low additional cost (ha) of next-day air shipping), but the stupid company’s product is better. Fuckers, talking me on the phone like I’m the crazy one when I tick off now SIX instances in which they have fucked me over. HATE.

What I also hate? My cat threw up all over my bedroom carpet AND living room carpet. Not just kitty chunks, mind you. Split-pea soup, acrid, pure liquid, bad-ass dark brown puddles. So now that I’ve been scrubbing the hell out of my carpets, I ran into the kitchen to dispose of the cat vomit-infused sponge. And guess whose wet feet slid and knocked their owner straight into a row of cabinets?

I need to go back to bed. I so very much miss the days when I could call off work and not have to stress out so much over formulating a game plan that it’s not even worth doing. Forget Amazon wishlist donations — can’t anyone just throw a girl a Valium dispenser?

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