Whenever anybody asks me about “the hot guy” I dated, I die a little. But now, I’ve finally gotten brave enough to tell the story.

My friend asked me about my love life this past Friday night. Since I couldn’t talk about what’s going on right now — because I embargo information in real-life and not just on the blog — I could talk freely about Hot Guy and his ridiculous love for a married ex-girlfriend.

I don’t get how people — men — wait around and cater to women who don’t want them. And judging by the way I WITNESSED her treating him, I think if he said to her, “You know? This isn’t working,” I honestly believe she would have said, “OH THANK GOD. I agree.”

Somewhat related, I got to thinking about one of my good girlfriends, who simply e-mailed her now-ex that, yeah, it’s time for us to get a divorce.

He wrote back to say, yeah, I’ll move out at the end of the month. Good idea.

There was nobody else waiting in that situation. Which made it so freaking commendable, I just cannot even articulate it.

And even with Hot Boy, I lost interest and wouldn’t date him now even if he said he had gotten his pretty-boy head on straight when it came to her.

Or me.

I hope he found his happiness. Or finds it eventually.

And I will try not to wonder about mine.

“I hope she’s everything you need and dream about
Don’t let what we had hit you on your easy way out
When you lay down with her tonight, we’ll see who loses sleep
What’s it like to love her and to lose me?”

Heidi Newfield, “Love Her And Lose Me”

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