I’ve lost as many IQ points as the Dow’s given up today

I got to thinking about a lot of things last night.


Russell quitting his job to take care of his wife. Is that what is going to happen to me if/when Mom gets sicker? The only thing in life that gives me any sort of purpose is work. Or maybe it’s money. But I think it’s work. I do like what I do. But what if I had to take care of her … could/would I? And how long would it take for me to kill us both?


Russell loving his wife for nearly 70 years when every man I know is at his wits’ end trying to figure out how to cheat or at least whack off without being caught.

Oh, who am I kidding. Every man I know … and probably me if I stayed with any of them long enough.


Related, I have nothing to say about the Ashley Madison debacle other than that maybe we need to finally redefine privacy as what we in management know as, “You can see and do all the evil you want. Just don’t speak about it … yours or anyone else’s.”


I’m feeling terribly uninspired. I want to say it’s because of the lack of sleep/peace/sanity. Although the psychos upstairs did give me one good night on Saturday. Or maybe it’s that life is progressing at the speed it’s supposed to be (i.e., not warp speed).

Or maybe I was built for mental warp speed but my body can’t keep up anymore, so I should just get comfortable for a change.

Or maybe I need to leave the party before they ask me to. Or decide for me.

Because, people making decisions on my behalf has never ended well.


I’m thinking about Europe again. And also about cleaning the office. I have enough SkyMiles to get the fuck out of town. I also have a new vacuum cleaner and other supplies in my trunk.

Last time I was planning a trip to Europe, I got shitcanned. Last time I cleaned an office, I got shitcanned. Well I had to shitcan myself but I’ll spare you that sob story.

In any event, I’m getting real fucking tired of planning my life and seeing it spread its butt cheeks and shit all over any semblance of progress on my part.


I made a random comment on a story on Facebook. It was about a bunch of girls on a wine train being thrown off for being too loud. I said let the girls have fun and maybe throw my violent neighbors out instead for screaming at each other, their kids and me for five-plus months.

People commented to say violence cannot be tolerated. Screaming turns to hitting.

Tell that to my HOA. Or maybe that explains why they don’t/can’t do anything … because they get threatened too.


I went to a gun store yesterday. Ended up with pepper spray and a taser for when I can get Big Giant Pussy to sneak his balls out of Thundercunt’s purse long enough for me to zap them.

I’m tired of being afraid that they’ve messed with my car (again). Or that they will mow me down in the parking garage. Or that they could have any power over me.

I survived a stalker. I really don’t need this shit.

Anyway. The guy at the gun store said, “Ever consider concealed carry?” I said, “Nah, I’m a Democrat.” I did not say, “More than you know.”

Last night as Fraggle donned her concrete shoes and STOMPED ALL OVER MY HEAD past 10 p.m. (I mean, she started after 10 p.m.), and I screamed my fucking head off to go to bed already, I thought about that gun. And how I would have shot through the ceiling if I had it.

So yeah, no concealed carry here.


I went to the police and fire stations yesterday. Nice people in my town. Truly. They asked where I live and I said the complex and they said, “Umm hmmm.”

Not only do they know the place, I think they know exactly who I mean. Even though they didn’t say it. They wished me luck and gave me the number of someone I need to call to discuss this further with.

Don’t think I won’t do it.

I just feel bad that even the people who are willing to put their lives on the line to protect me, can’t do it. Says a lot about this world. And that makes me sad.


Maybe I need that trip to Europe after all. I just can’t imagine leaving Mom to listen to those fuckwits all day and night alone with no protection.


For what it’s worth, when fuckwits went silent, I LOVED my apartment. Loved, loved, loved it. It was everything I dreamed it would be.

See what happens when I dream? *crush* I don’t know if it was kind or cruel of the universe to give me a taste of what I’m obviously not allowed to have.

Of course, isn’t that what relationships and jobs are for? WHY MY HOUSE INSTEAD?!?!!

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