Is bitchslapping an appropriate use of a sage wand?

Severe burnout. Network errors. Pile of to-dos bigger than my ass is wide. Oh the humanity.

So I’ve successfully avoided (without even trying, really. Phone’s on and nobody’s using it) he who has now become the world’s least-reliable friend. Until today, that is.

I mean, I’ve avoided him, not that he’s become reliable!

It was pleasant enough of an exchange. I was head-scratching over the truthiness of part of it, but as it doesn’t affect my life, I let it go. Really, if that’s what gets you to sleep at night, you enjoy that.

As for me, I’ll be adding “liar” to the list of WHY I NEED TO WAVE A SAGE WAND AROUND MY LIFE. If I don’t bitchslap him with it first.

My feeling is that he wants me to maintain a certain perception of him, and the fact is, it’s gone. Why try to string me along? Not interested. Don’t flatter yourself. EVER. AGAIN.

You might as well tell me the truth. If you keep making plans with me and breaking them, stop it with the damn excuses because I already know not to rely on you anymore. And if you’re going to lie about other, unrelated dumb shit, Jesus. Get right with God — quit bothering me!!!

And frankly, there are two bigger truths to all of this. Maybe three. One is confirmed, one is obvious and one just makes sense. All will be revealed later. But let me say that I have certain other types of friends who rate higher on the reliability scale, and that’s not saying much.

So today brought an “Oh hey this event is happening and I thought of you.” Me: “Oh that’s nice of you to think of me.” In my head, I debated whether to go to it … ALONE.

Then I get a, “Well, if I’m not catering to Raggedy Ass all weekend, I’ll call you and we can go.”


I said, “So, do you ever do anything YOU want to do on the weekends?”

He said no.

I said something sarcastic about oh yeah I’ll go ahead and wait for THAT call. But the sarcasm I think was missed. “OK great, I’ll let you know!” he said.



This isn’t funny. This isn’t fun. It was flattering for four seconds that he thought of something so very ME and wanted to take me TO it.

And that’s about as long as it lasted.

If he’s on dumbass pills, I won’t be able to tell when they wear off because he’s acting like he’s on a permanent high.

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