I’m a sucker, so just lick me already

Confession: When it comes to MTV’s “The Hills,” I am a junkie. I vote in the polls on the Web site and on People.com. I read every stupid news article about the cast. I watched “Laguna Beach” and never missed an episode of either show. I buy all the music I hear in the shows, too.

I’m so ashamed. 😉

I’ve watched the “Lauren Looks Back” special as many times as it’s been on. I was hooked on “Laguna Beach” back in the day. I have missed only about a half-episode of “The Hills” this season, and no worries — they will replay the series till the end of time or, at least, till the end of this year.

And yes, even though I’ve seen most of the episodes eleventy billion times, I still watch them. I love the fight between Lauren and Heidi. I’m totally “Team Lauren.” I just LOVE how Heidi can either do all kinds of stuff to hurt Lauren, or egg on that dipwad boyfriend of hers to do it, and try to talk to Lauren like, “I don’t know what you’re mad about, as I am fabulous and innocent and so special. And hey, remember all the stuff I did for you when we were friends?”

We all have a Heidi. The one who kept score when they did something wonderful but magically forgot everything ELSE they did to not only cause a rift, but to exacerbate it. And what kills me is how Heidi just keeps showing UP in Lauren’s life. I know MTV has orchestrated a lot of of those run-ins, but sheesh. How much clearer can Lauren be that she wants to “forgive her … and FORGET her”?!?!

But really, I’m watching because I’m rooting for Brody and Lauren to get back together. Because, let’s face it: We all have a Brody, too. The one who is PROBABLY better left as a friend, but who would probably be such a PERFECT match, it wouldn’t even be funny. We all have those moments where you *think* they’re on the same wavelength as you and would totally be on board for moving things a step further, and yet there are so many other moments when we just run scared or cut off our little dreams at the source because, nah. Either they won’t feel the same way or are we just imagining what we felt in the first place? Decisions, decisions.

And yes, I swooned when Brody kissed Lauren goodbye before she jetted off to Paris. I’ve been waiting all damn season for that. Do you get to a point with someone that it’s too late to turn it into something else, or will it be fireworks no matter when or how it happens? I know she was focused on hightailing it to the airport, but did she sit in the car going “OMG, OMG, OMG” on the way?

I can even forgive Brody for being Bruce Jenner’s son. You know, Bruce Jenner of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”fame. At least that’s a show that’s below MY low standards — I’m not a total loser. 😉

But is Brody as much of a player as he makes himself out to be? Maybe Lauren’s right not to let herself fall for him. You wonder about these guys whose phones are full of ladies — makes you wonder whether you’re just one of a million instead of being treated like the one IN a million that you are … and if they’ll ever fully realize that.

I was reading Mel’s post today about her male friend who’s getting married … who confessed to having a huge crush on her for years. (And how could he not? She’s FABULOUS!) And she’d had a crush on him, too. You wonder how many of us have those stories (and how many will go on with their lives never even knowing about it).

I guess that’s why I’m all about Team Lauren and Brody — you can see the spark that everyone keeps dancing around and is either pretending it doesn’t exist or isn’t actually aware of it. I mean, I guess we all tend to default to, “Meh, they wouldn’t be interested anyway so why entertain it?” But what if. …

What if, indeed.

Hell, I actually turned my work TV to a “Hills” marathon yesterday — figures my boss only visits when I’m chatting with someone or when I’m watching MTV. Gah. I promise, I really do work a lot!!! But I am a sucker for that stupid show — lick me, please. There ain’t no rehab that’s going to dwarf this addiction!

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