I don’t try to feel superior. I just AM
According to my horoscope, the theme of the day might be misinterpretation, as nobody really gets what the other is actually saying.
I can see it in action already — I heard the jobs report on CNBC with my own two ears (they played Europe’s “The Final Countdown” as they counted down to the report. My ears are still bleeding). Yet, I’ve heard about 12 analysts with about four different interpretations of it. No wonder nobody knows what to think — it’s pointless to hear the unbiased data, because every idiot who gets paid to talk will do so at length, and they will convolute it to the point that you’re not sure whether the number staying the same is good or bad. *scream*
Speaking of taking away our own interpretations, some little turd asked me what I do for a living, and I gave the 10-cent tour of it. And his response was, “That’s all you do?” And it wasn’t in the usual kidding tone that my team uses when we work 14-hour days. It was condescending, I thought. And I figured, hey, I don’t know this person, so maybe it was an attempt at a funny. But it wasn’t, bottom line. I already know that the processes are excruciatingly long. But I saw a similar position advertised somewhere else that has half the workload, so nobody gets to scoff, mmkay?
I meant to work late last night, but my head really wasn’t screwed on right. I had plenty of time to work on a project, but I’m beyond burned-out and the submission was subpar and I am growing less and less eager to save the day. So I figured I’d get up early today, whip the project into shape and then go catch a lunchtime seminar that would make me smarter. Ha ha ha. I’m trying to work on this uninspiring project right now, and bye-bye seminar. At least I’m in my jammies. That does count for something.
I feel like it’s a struggle to have fun lately. And that our biggest competitors aren’t outside, but inside. Instead of uniting forces to crush the competition, we’re too busy trying to not let our neighbors let the air out of our little red balloons. It’s exhausting. And uninspiring.
I read somewhere yesterday that we need to spend a half-hour each day improving ourselves. Whether it’s reading a book or attending a workshop or gathering information/materials to apply to developing a new skill, we need that half-hour “date” with ourselves to feel like we’ve grown each day. And while I’m in favor of that and am sort of pissed at myself for sacrificing today’s seminar, I’m also falling into a “be kinder to myself'” groove. And if that means just barely managing to survive a day like yesterday (it was a terrific day — I just totally lacked having anything left to give) and making up for it when I’m feeling a bit better (i.e., today), it’s all right by me.
All right, I’ve avoided this mosh pit of an assignment long enough. I like working when I’m crabby — I tend to be harsher and, ultimately, more creative. Never underestimate the value of time to process — I’m so angry at this project, I’m going to kick its ass and make it behave simply BECAUSE I SAID SO.
Hoo boy, unless you’re going to kiss my ass or at least not piss me off today, I might recommend steering clear until this shitstorm passes. …