Goat rodeo
I finally got permission to post a job opening.
As expected, the dregs of fin pub society showed up right on cue.
Got a text late last night that said, “I’m sure you hoped you heard the last of me, but I want this job.”
Like my dude, I have been contacting everyone I know on the downlow before I posted this thing. You are correct, I was not hoping to hear from you again.
I also put it on LinkedIn with a note to please use the apply link, so you go to the correct person who is not named me.
Ask me how many messages I have in my LinkedInbox.
And none of it is “would love to learn more from you” or “let’s see if this is a fit.”
It’s the “I’m available!”
Like … good for you?
As if me hearing your name is going to make my panties drop?
Did you even read the ad?
Like this one girl I must have met at an Agora party does this every time there’s an opening.
Proofer? editor? marketer? developer? Hey I’m available.
Like … do you want an engraved invitation to apply?
Also, your profile is jammed full of every high-value keyword yet no one I know can name a single thing you’re good at.
Like at least with me, my reputation is being the “editor whisperer.” A writer. I am really fucking good with email subject lines. Also I am everybody’s favorite boss because I’m funny and weird and allergic to office politics.
I am also terrible at whatever bosses want so I have to face my maker today about that.
I don’t actually think the posted job will solve my problems. I do less editorial directing than editorial doing.
So take away a chunk of the doing … is that enough for them or am I going to be stuck writing more free articles when my first love is the subscription services?
And then to have to dodge the dregs, yeesh.
I dread the day Pickleball Girl sees the post.
Her resume is actually a perfect match.
Her abilities, not so much.
That’s the real nonsense here. I hired her based on her perfect resume.
And she sucked. Rebelled against my ideas and edits. Complained about me to everyone within earshot. Was shocked I would dare let her go.
Yet she’s hit me up for work ever since.
I gave her a pithy “recommendation” for her website.
Kelly just saw her website, as Pickleball was trolling K’s employer.
The screenshot she sent made me so annoyed.
She said she was my ghostwriter. And named all the ghosts.
Listen.
I’ve been a ghostwriter. I’ve also written under my byline. So I put in my bio that I’ve been a ghostwriter and you can also find my bylined articles here.
Like, one, you don’t reveal that the celebrity has a ghostwriter.
And two, SHE DID NOT WRITE THEIR ISSUES. I had her write special reports and repurpose their issues into ezines. BIG FUCKING DIFFERENCE.
HR is already on the lookout for this one for me. Though I know I’ll get a text first.
I’ve never minded people having my cell phone, since having two phones (one for work) is as cumbersome as having two laptops (I don’t let work near my personal one).
But then you get the feeling that you’re not doing enough AT work … whilst no one knows how many people invade your personal time and space, which is work time and you cannot tell me otherwise.
OTOH, I hope there is someone or someones I haven’t thought of for this post.
I lost a really good guy, I think. But that’s the story of my life.
What I really dread is that I know one of my current freelancers will apply — and while I love her, I get the feeling my boss does not.
So … that’s really where I am at. And that’s what’s going to help me say no to these people. Like, it’s a team decision and you don’t have the one quality he requested.
I just hope that quality doesn’t cancel out the really good people like the one who just got another job.