fuCk you mINDY

I’m used to internet bullies who won’t go away.

Even when I cancel my subscription to their issues (as I’ve just deleted my final burner account), I can still feel them sneering at me from afar.

I mean, it’s always possible that they’ve moved it on or let it go or whatever they’ve said for five years.

It occurred to me as I listened to “thanK you aIMee” — rather, watching the KIM of it all post a lot of shit to try to convince us that she’s unbothered about it — that people put a LOT of effort into acting unbothered.

Kind of defeats the purpose of being unbothered, eh? To ruminate over it?

In any event, I am bothered about my loser neighbors. Today the latin bitch boy took a hose to my kids’ food.

I texted my co-feeder to say I have had enough. I have a big bag of containers and food for you. Find someone else to go through this heartbreak every day.

It was relatively peaceful till about three weeks ago. I was feeding street kids at 6 a.m. when Latin Bitch Boy came out, saw us, and stomped through the food. I hid, and the kids ran, and that was it. But, no one wanted to eat. And I calculated the day’s financial loss at $7.

Then the next monday, some bitch I call Butterface on a Bike rolled up my ass while I was feeding Fancy and Whiskey, aka The BFFs.

She called me ignorant and told me she works for Peggy Adams. Then she changed her mind and said she is taking the cats to Peggy Adams.

She kept talking at me (and photographing/videoing me) till I stood up. I said, “Great chat!” and walked away. She yelled one more time that I’m ignorant.

I saw her the next Monday (after several near-misses with losers in that same lot), but my cloak of invisibility worked. Somehow, she on her bike missed me feeding seven cats in three places. Whew.

My Facebook record:

The butterface on a bike saw me at 5:50 a.m. but did not see me feed kiddos. So I am thankful they got to eat their tiny morsels in peace today, without me getting yelled at.

Then Thursday happened.

Butterface on a Bike tailed/circled me for 26 minutes today. I fed the street cats, she was up my ass filming and taking photos. She said “WE ARE ON TO YOU, MISSY.” And I said, “Yay!”

Then she followed me to Amelia and Smalls. They were scared and wouldn’t eat. I crouched down with them for a good 10 minutes.

Finally I stood up and said, “Still here?” She said, “Something wrong?” I said, “Not with me.”

She said you are the reason we have raccoons. I said I am the reason you DON’T have rats anymore.

She said, oh you love to argue — you KNOW you’re in the wrong. I said I stand up for what’s right.

She called me a bunch of names and I said you know, you’ve called me a loser, trash, ignorant — she said you ARE ignorant but I never called you that. I said you sure did, two Mondays ago.

She said well I’m also going to call you dirty. You should take those cats to your apartment since it’s probably dirty like you are.

I laughed and walked by the water where bikes aren’t allowed. She rode on in. I said, “Bikes aren’t ALLOWED here. Since you are all about RULES.”

She said you don’t follow rules so why should I.

I forget what she called me but I said, “Wow, what a woman you are, calling another woman names. Real class act, aren’t you.”

She also said something dumb about how they lock up their trash room because of me; I literally carry a trash bag with me.

I did say, too, they’ve been here 10 years and you’ve been here 10 minutes. Looks like this place will accept anyone in here now.

I told my co-feeder about it. She offered to wake up and join me the next morning, Friday.

She didn’t.

It’s fine because I had a great morning with all seven babies.

She texted me when she got up, as I put on Facebook:

My co-feeder got bullied out of feeding the cats last night. By a different bully, the Latin bitch boy. Thats why she wasn’t up for a fight, literally.

She goes at 1 a.m. So I really can’t go earlier than 6 a.m. They go from 6 a.m. to 1 a.m. with NO FOOD OR WATER.

So that brings us to today.

I wake up at six (on a SATURDAY), and I only see Meatball and Fancy. Weird. So I feed them and watch Fancy, as ever, take two bites and run.

I’ve noticed that with all the cats but Meatball. They take their two bites, maybe five, then it’s off to the races.

Every day, I chase Fancy and Whiskey and feed them again. (The gray kitty usually eats their food, so there’s scant evidence I was ever there.)

They go into enemy territory, the cursed parking lot where Latin Bitch Boy and Carl and his violent daughter live.

I didn’t see the missing cats, so I came over to my building to do the whole Smalls and Amelia and gray kitty situation.

Then I figured, I’ve never had a shitty Saturday morning. These fuckers stay in bed. Let me go see if the street kids turned up.

Sure enough, Whiskey and Poppins were waiting, like YOU DIDN’T FORSAKE US AFTER ALL! I fed them, great.

Then I walked the length of the cursed parking lot twice till I found Fancy. Usually she likes to hide under a car and eat; today she was fine with being at the edge of the lot by … where the Latin Bitch Boy parks in the Genesis he doesn’t deserve.

I gave her a scoop and some treats. Then I gave some treats to Meatball, Whiskey and Poppins.

As I walked away, the cats SCATTERED.

Latin Bitch Boy came out and TURNED THE FUCKING HOSE ON FANCY.

Meatball and I ran to my building. I pretended to film Bitch Boy but really I was typing on Facebook. I was too far away, TBH.

He started yelling at me and I was like nope. Not engaging with crazy. I did enough of that for five years on Twitter, thanks.

The latin bitch boy is hosing down the kids’ food. Real charmer. He is yelling at me right now. So Fancy didn’t get to eat.

May I always have more money and grace than they have cruelty and stupidity.

Let me say that for the universe once more time.

May I always have more money and grace than they have cruelty and stupidity.

I was pissed off but I figured I’d get over it.

But I got home and mom woke up and I snapped.

Tears started streaming down my face. I said these cats would be SO much better off somewhere else. I need to stop encouraging them to stay there.

Also I’m just coming off of THREE weeks of being sick.

PLUS, I have to look at nurses who nod sympathetically and write shit in their charts and hug me with tears in their eyes as they say goodbye.

Who gets hugs other than those failed by their doctors and nature itself?

Oh, BTW, mINDY is a metaphor but there is an actual Dr. Mindy B. who can fuckin drive face first into a Brightline with all the rest of these cunts.

She looks like Cindy too. I knew we wouldn’t get along.


I packed up a big bag of water dishes and the case of food I just ordered from Chewy. The special stuff the street kids like but that PetSmart rarely stocks.

I threw in a giant bag of lobster flavored treats that’s still sealed. A bag of Kitten Chow. And a gift card I had meant to send to one of my staffers who quit before I could get it in the mail.

And I texted my co-feeder that she needs to find a backup for me, and I have a care package for her.

Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman
But she used to say she wished that you were dead
I pushed each boulder up the hill
Your words are still just ringing in my head
Ringing in my head

This is how our rights get stripped away. Reproductive, gender identification, civil, workers’, whatever. The evil fuckers chip away at you day after day, tweet by tweet, insult by insult, threat by threat.

I slept THREE HOURS yesterday and I got up to THIS?

Look, I LOVE those cats. I have plotted a million ways to Sunday how to kidnap Fancy and Whiskey (bonded pair).

And I have fallen in love with Smalls. He is SO CUTE.

I think of what that Butterface Bitch, who does nothing but ride her bike like the Wicked Witch (the one in the movie/play AND the one in my cult classic song, “fuCk you mINDY”) and go sit by the pool eight hours a day with the others in their cult who sit and bitch about the cats, would do to gloat.

But it’s not enough for me to keep obsessing about the fear and the injustice and the asininity of it all.

I like being the girl the neighbors slip food and compliments to, out of earshot of everyone else. Thank you for taking care of those kiddos. I’m not brave enough.

Hell, on Wednesday (a good day), I couldn’t find Smalls and he started yelping from between cars. A nice man walked by and pointed and said, “I think he’s looking for you.”

I said THANK YOU and I was SO thrilled that someone here was nice enough to just LET ME DO MY THING.

Like, why isn’t THAT the norm?

But no. The mINDYs of the world will be evil bullies and the people like me will take it until we can’t.

An old friend, Dave, I met through this very blog texted me.

Thank you for standing up for what’s right. I can’t do what you do. We need people like you who do this for all of us.

He is literally, PHYSICALLY incapable of having fights all the time. Like, he could not stand out there and deal with this shit.

I posted on Facebook, would it be terrible if I threw in the towel on all this.

Another friend, Bill, who I also met through this blog, said (my words, and what I believe is his sentiment):

You don’t get to pick when it’s time for self-care. You do it when you need to.

So, you win, mINDY. Shindy. Butterface Bitch. Latin Bitch Boy. Carl and Lauren. MJ. YOU ALL FUCKING WIN.

Karma is going to have to even the score. I don’t even care anymore.

Y’all broke me.

And even THAT won’t make any of you happy.

But at least I’m not going to let you ruin my life anymore.

As she was leaving …
It felt like breathing.

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