Amy done gone and did a purty site redesign, not to mention she outright got herself a spiffy new domain. Happy housewarming, Snarling Marmot!

She’s been doing a “Best Of” series, reposting some of her favorite entries from past blogs, which is awesome because I remember reading so many of them the first time, and I walk through the flashback right with her.

I decided that since I have not a damned thing to post about, I should do the same. So I tapped what I call “Classic Caterwauling” — i.e., Version 1.0 of the blog that never sees the light of day anymore — for something intelligent. And well, THAT experiment failed miserably. 😉 All I did was talk about wherever I worked at the time. Oh, the angst. It hurts to look back. It’s better to keep it offline.

What I did do was go back in time four years, to July 6, 2002, when I first moved down here and was in personal ad hell. Sorry to say that not much has changed, although I have gotten better at just meeting people in my apartment building without the aggravation of the ads and the electronic world — there’s always a whole ‘nother realm of annoyance to be found in the “real” world!

The old crap is below the fold. …


I’m typically a raging bitch when I get sick, and dealing with this weekend’s nasty summer cold is likewise wreaking havoc on my hormones.

Starting to like Virginia but am bored witless. Do not feel like driving anywhere because A.) I will get lost, and B.) I have no sense of humor because my head is clouded because of this fricking illness. I never spent a Saturday cooped up in the house when I was in Pgh … I loved getting up early and gallivanting all over creation. And while I am partially motivated to at least go outside and clean my car windows, if nothing else, I don’t really have a need to go out because A.) fundage issues and B.) I really don’t have anywhere to go.


Read a book today … one more chapter till I’m finished. It’s “The Edge of Reason,” the sequel to the famed “Bridget Jones’ Diary.” It’s campy and outlandish and would make an excellent sitcom series. Unfortunately, I find myself bonding way too much with Bridget and her neuroses. The only thing I haven’t liked about the book was when she was arrested and detained in Thailand … uh, can anyone say “Brokedown Palace,” boys and girls? Which story was the original?

At any rate, feeling kind of lonely. Would call 420 Boy but we already spend a lot of time together and I’m not into overkill; just wish I had more friends locally. Oh, what a boring summer this is going to be, if I don’t find a way to make friends and FAST!

Miss my mom, miss my buddies in the ‘Burgh. Wish they could come here.

SE was supposed to be in town this weekend, but I never heard from him. I left a breezy VM on his cell to ask if this were the weekend he’d be in D.C. In good news, Charolette will spend Tuesday night here after a thrilling jaunt to Lancaster as a favor to F/OM. We won’t have much time together, but hey, a girls’ night on the town never hurt anyone! At least she’s finally *allowed* to go out with us! Woo Hoo!!!

Solved the dilemma of the 10-year-reunion. For the unfamiliar, I do NOT plan to attend my 10-year high school reunion later this year, but there is a separate reunion for July 13 that I planned 10 years ago with Pinhead, Tuna and Frumper. I knew back then that I was only hanging around with them until I made real friends, which I did when I went to college. They were just assholes, with a possible exception for Pinhead, who was at least real when he was with me, just not when others were around. But long story short, even that ended, and we always had July 13, 2002, as our “reunion” date because I’d thought it would be cool for us to meet 10 years down the road, at a time when I was certain that none of us would be speaking to each other (but I didn’t tell THEM that!).

Well, if I were in the ‘Burgh, I’d have gone, out of curiosity. But because fuel is expensive and frankly, I just hate the drive, I will NOT be going to the reunion from hell (not like any of them will be, really), but I’ve alerted Mom to the time and date, and she plans to take my grandfather to the place in question for dessert. That way, I won’t have to look at the idiots, and if they really are there, well, they liked her better than they did me, anyway!!! lol

The way I figure, I ran into Pinhead a few times when I worked in Downtown Pgh, and after the day I dared to approach him and he was a complete shit to me, well, fuck him. He was the only one I cared to see, anyway. Oh well. No loss. The loss was his, and I hope he realizes that.

I should give Chris and Judy a call. I see that Janna emailed … I have yet to read it … I feel bad ’cause she sent me a nice little birthday gift before I left and I never thanked her for it. I also miss Dawn and Charolette and Lori and Wayne and Howard. I never did write to CR, who emailed me a few times to wish me luck and to ask me to keep in touch. But he understands that it’s hard for me, knowing that there was something between us and that there was not a thing we could do to be together. But I will email when I am ready.

I think I’ll call Judy today. I miss our escapes with Chris to The Getaway for wings and sammitches. Mmmm.

CH emailed today to ask how it’s going. Such a shame, what happened last summer. On June 23, 2002, one year to the day, I lay on my floor and stared at the ceiling, wondering how it all got so far. I lay in that same position on that day in 2001, wondering the same thing but for a whole ‘nother reason. I had memorized ever detail in that ceiling in my living room, as if I could find myself or life’s answers somewhere between the paint smudges. My ceiling here is smooth and beige … no wisdom is embedded in that ceiling … just loose floorboards exist above it and nitwits who run around like banshees at all hours of the day. 🙂

God, I miss YKW. I hate myself, just hate myself to no end, for the way I let him pervade my thoughts. I will never forget those eyes … I thought I saw a lifetime in their depths. I was obviously mistaken. Could he ever understand that just a word from him, even an unkind one, would help me to bring some kind of closure to that chapter of my life?

No word from DC Boy. Haven’t heard from 42 Boy either. And nothing from SE … my god! Am I losing my touch? LOL

I am SO going to update my personal ad, like RIGHT NOW!!!!


2 Responses to Flashback

  1. chris :

    How we all wish (nobody more than I) clocks can be turned back. Knowledge can be gained then shared with younger versions of ourselves. Such a shame that we can only learn as we go along, no cliff’s notes to how not to fuck up.

  2. The Goddess :

    I don’t know how much of it I would have changed, even with Goddess-from-the-Future’s wisdom. I think we all did OK with the information and maybe even the foresight that we had at the time.

    I think, looking back at this, I’d regretted moving to D.C. But now that’s not a regret so much as probably the best decision I ever made. However, I do miss the people I mentioned (with exception, of course). But the important ones are still around in one way or another, and even the Cliff’s Notes of life would call that a victory.