Fairway to heaven. Or somewhere like that

Fair day, originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn.

It’s official — it takes a three-day weekend to recover from one week of my job. I almost feel like I accomplished something for a change!

Nothing says summer like the stench of citizens cow and horse poop at the MoCo Agricultural Fair, which was on today’s agenda. It runs through the 18th, so if you want to experience a little bit of country in the city, head on up to Gaithersburg so you can overpay for pretty much everything. 🙂

I really wanted to hang out for the night to see the rides all lit up, but man, I’m just too exhausted. I may go back, although between parking and entry, that’s $12 out of pocket before they rape you for five bucks for a lemonade.

I’m trying very hard to be nice, but walking through a county fair reminds me of the movie “Idiocracy”. We were sitting on a bench, chewing on a delicious funnel cake drizzled in chocolate, and I cannot tell you how many kids either almost walked into the plate or flat-out tried to grab some of the sugary dough because, well, they have no manners. Gimme the six bucks for it and I’ll gladly share, Junior. And don’t think anyone even noticed their children on the loose, let alone apologize for them.

Another thing I noticed, although it happens at more than just these outdoor summer events, is how men will stop to ogle you — regardless of who YOU are with, let alone who THEY are with. I don’t care — I smile and lick my fingers if I’m eating. And even if I’m not, although that’s a story for another day. 😉

My belief is that people aren’t really looking at me but instead at my food. Seriously! I’ve been to a lot of summer festivals with various men (*cough*) and you have to act like you’re not hungry ’cause you get the feeling they’d rather gnaw off their own arm than offer to feed you. I know, I know, you could get a steak at Bobby Van’s for what you pay for a coupla corn dogs, but damn.

Speaking of corn dogs, it says something about the evolution of the all-American county fair when you can find three burrito stands before you can find a freaking corn dog. You know where the corn dogs are hiding? At the goddamned taco stand. It was tasty, don’t get me wrong, but something just doesn’t sit well with me when you have to look hard for the stuff you would simply just expect to find anywhere else.

Anyway, before I get myself in any more trouble here, I just want to laugh at the ATM situation. Because when we got there, there was no money in the fucking cash machines. The irony in that statement was that Bank of America was a sponsor of the event. How do you run out of money when there should’ve been ATMs at the BoA booth at the front of the fairgrounds entrance?!?!

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