Caterwauling

Saw this over at Joelle’s:

Name someone with the same birthday as you.

Ralph Waldo Emerson — May 25.

1803 for him, and *mumblemumble* for me.

Where was your first kiss?

It was on my. …

Oh, you mean where was I at?

Second grade, in a classroom during a stupid film about animals or some crap like that. I so totally got thrown out of the classroom. It was brilliant. 🙂

Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property?

No, but I stood by and witnessed it once. I felt really bad, because no matter how much of a shit the victim was, I should have been above being a participant.

Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?

Only upon request. 😉

If I’m really comfortable with someone, I’ll touch or whack them playfully during conversation. It’s my weird way of connecting with them.

I don’t hit in anger, though. I don’t want it done to me and refuse to implement a double-standard.

Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people?

That’s why the good lord invented karaoke, so assholes like me can be shown exactly why we weren’t meant to be rock stars.

I was in some middle-school productions as a member of the chorus. Frightening.

What’s the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?

Their hands. I am big on grooming, and well-kept nails and skin make me tingle. Because there’s always that “next step” in one’s imagination about what those hands and fingers can do when taken to task. … 😉

What really turns you on?

Conversation. Laughter. Persistence. Brilliance. Depth. The element of surprise, particularly because I am always on guard.

What do you order at Starbucks?

Normally, just a grande or a venti regular. *snooze*

But around the holidays, I am addicted to the gingerbread lattes.

What is your biggest mistake?

Jesus H, I have to pick only one?!?!

Screwing up my finances. That perm in fourth grade. Those late-night threesomes with Ben & Jerry — all of them. Giving up those freelance opportunities because I want my “me” time when I come home. Not going to Sarah Lawrence — not finding a way to afford it, rather.

Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?

Yes.

Say something totally random about yourself.

I’m shy. *bwahahaha*

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?

I’ve gotten a few names, but nothing I was ever thrilled about.

Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?

I think the advent of things like “Space Ghost,” “South Park,” “Drawn Together” and “Ren and Stimpy” have nicely satiated my need to watch cartoons but to hear the language in which I am accustomed to speaking.

Did you have braces?

Nope.

Are you comfortable with your height?

I’m 5’4″ — as average as it gets. I rather like it, because most men are taller than me and being taller than me matters more to them than it does to me.

What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?

Nearly broken my arm by beating it with an umbrella when I tried to open a door for myself. 😉 That’ll teach me to not accept gentlemanly courtesies!

When do you know it’s love?

When you’re confident that everything is happening as it should be. Or that it will happen, when the time is right.

Do you speak any other languages?

I remember a halfway decent amount of French, although I am certain I smoked out a few of those brain cells in my 20s. 😉

Have you ever been to a tanning salon?

I’ve accompanied friends to them, but I go from zero to scorched in the batting of an eyelash, so I’ve been hesitant to fake-bake for fear of frying. My luck, I’d probably freckle.

What magazines do you read?

Cosmopolitan (I subscribe). I canceled my subscriptions to Editor & Publisher, Writer’s Digest and U.S. News and World Report, but I try to catch them online. And I so totally picked up a celebrity rag mag in line at Safeway tonight!

Have you ever ridden in a limo?

Nope.

Has anyone you were really close to passed away?

Too many.

Do you watch mtv?

Only for the occasional mocking of “The Real World” or “Laguna Beach” — I switched to VH1 years ago.

What’s something that really annoys you?

Outstanding details. Those make me nervous, yet I am horrible about tying up loose ends.

What’s something you really like?

Writing in my journal. There’s something so soothing about committing words to actual paper with a blue ink pen. And I’m always in such a damn hurry anymore, so I choose my words carefully and even sparingly — brevity really is a lost art.

Do you like Michael Jackson?

I had a poster of him above my bed as a preteen, so I try very hard to think of *that* Michael instead of as a crackhead pedophile.

Can you dance?

I was born and bred (but didn’t breed) in the gay clubs. I am way out of practice, though, as I’ve stopped wearing my signature heterosexual-male-repellent cologne and given up the fag hag crown for the next generation of fruit flies to grow into.

What’s the latest you have ever stayed up?

If I didn’t have to be up at the crack o’, well, myself (ha!) for work, I’d be pulling all-nighters again.

Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?

Unfortunately, yes. After a car accident many, many moons ago.

Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?

I love this shit, especially when others are in the hot seat. 😉

This entry was posted on Monday, October 24th, 2005 at 8:07 PM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.