Three blogs in one. Aren’t you lucky?

Things I’ve learned today:

1. When you do favors for people, they expect more favors.

Don’t do people favors. Or, charge them so that it’s less a favor than an exchange of money for services. That way, the annoying follow-up that comes to your work phone, cell phone, e-mail and Instant Messenger account all at once as they kill themselves to track you down won’t make you want to stab yourself (or them) for trying to be nice.

2. My team? Is Teh Awesome.

After spending the morning in training on how to build effective teams, I know I have a cakewalk right now in that realm. The group activities reinforced it, as I cannot fathom why some people refuse to participate. Then again, I saw that same thing in action last week — if you’re invited to an event by senior management, for god’s sake, adding to the conversation IS NOT OPTIONAL.

We did some sort of consensus-building exercise in which our plane crashed in the Amazon and we had to figure out the importance of the items we needed to take with us to find civilization, of the items we had available. My group immediately got about doing the task, and let me tell you, those were six strong personalities. But we had fun and we talked and we really “got” the consensus-building stuff.

However, I admit that I personally was somewhat of a hindrance to it, because we landed in a coconut grove and one of our available items was a pack of cigarettes, which I ranked as “very important” to take with us. While others debated the merits of the cigarettes, I was lagging behind in the coconut grove, making rum drinks and chain-smoking.

And while the discussion arose about just how important the revolver would be to our survival, I made the argument that we needed to prioritize the mosquito nets, which they didn’t feel the same about (one of the girls actually had been to the Amazon and said she barely needed a net there). So I decided I should turn the mosquito net into pantyhose. And that the revolver was getting used on anyone who wouldn’t let me have a smoke (they said a nonsmoker should control the pack).

The group consensus? That I’d be the first one they killed and ate. 🙂

At which point I said we should use the 20 boxes of matches we had available and just burn down the whole rainforest and light up a celebratory smoke and drink my rum.

Lesson learned? I’m perhaps the most-fun person to work for, but you don’t ever want to be stranded on an island with me.

3. My car insurance company is Teh Suckage.

My policy expired awhile ago. I contacted them before said expiration to ask where the fuck my new ID card and policy were. They said they would mail them. This was 20 days ago. We now have a 14-message-long e-mail chain in which I begged them to send me the policy and card via e-mail so I can download, review, print and pay. I disagree with the amount they want to charge me, and I don’t see the point of making a payment if I don’t have the policy OR the proof of coverage in-hand.

Insurance company e-mailed me the other day, “Do you want us to send you the policy via e-mail? What about the ID card?” AFTER I HAD ASKED THEM TO SEND BOTH.

So I write back today, “Since you have not MAILED me the policy/cards as-requested, please see my original e-mail to yes, please, E-MAIL me both items.”

So they write back, “You have to make that type of request over the phone.”


Clearly Asinine Insurance Company employs the people who refused to cooperate with the task in No. 2. There were those of us who forged ahead and tried to get our team to safety, and then there were the dead weights who refused to leave the crash site that was 80 miles from civilization. I hope an alligator eats them, and I hope I was smart enough to walk away with the revolver so that they couldn’t be saved!

One Lonely Response to Explosion

  1. Sabre :

    At least your whole group got into the exercise and no one sat two feet back from the table giving everyone else the hairy eyeball.