Days like this I remember why I used to cut myself
This day had just as many great things about it as utterly forgettable moments. I guess that’s what the universe calls balance.
I worked all day on the Monday holiday to finish a very important project. But instead of having a parade thrown in my honor (hyperbole, for those of you who don’t know me. The best way to honor me is to leave me alone, at least for a couple of days), I get the guilt trip about four other projects (in addition to my daily load) that I didn’t finish.
My rule is, daily load wins. Every time. Those are my rocks in the jar. These side projects are sand and water, baby. And until the pressure fuses the sand and water into solid rock, I can’t say I can find more extra hours in a day to beat my head against them.
But I did hear somebody at the top of the food chain likes me very much, and that’s nice. It made me cry, that’s how much I needed to hear it.
Funny you have to hear it through a third party or else you won’t hear it at all. Of course, when everyone else is planning houses and adding amenities to them and trips and other shit it feels like you’ll never have no matter how hard you work for it, I guess being loved doesn’t pay as well as being feared but at least it’s something.