There’s nothing that reminds you of the smallness of your own life and problems as when someone dies. Even if you never knew them.

A friend/colleague let me know her mom passed away yesterday. I’m thinking it’s unexpected — her mom lives in the same area my mom does, and she just came down here for a visit — to see the house my friend just bought. And I remember my friend scrambling, because she had literally just moved — the place was nowhere near ready for even a family member to see.

It just goes to show that had she not come down when she did, she never would have. *sigh*

This is another one of those times, and I wonder if people thought this about me when I lost my grandfather, that you just wonder why good people have to hurt so much.

July Fourth was quiet around here — eight years to the day that we lost my grandmother to another case of hospital ineptitude. (Apparently it’s a theme around here.) It’s been eight years without her and eight months without my grandfather. What a fucked-up world without them in it. Perhaps it was a little bit fucked-up with them IN it, too, but at least it was a world I understood back then. 🙂

I’ve got to get back to work (story of my life) but I just wanted to say a little prayer for my friend and her mom. May the next world be everything you dreamed it to be, and may this one be a little gentler and kinder as if to acknowledge that someone who made it better is no longer in it.

I heard a quote recently, that the loss of a mother is the first event in your life that she can’t make “all better” because you don’t have the luxury of turning to her anymore. It’s all on you now. The shoes you danced around in as a child that were way too big for you are now suddenly yours.

Man, we’ve seen a lot of loss in our circle in the past year. But we’ve got weddings and babies coming into it as well. As for the rest of us, I’m sure hope will come along in one form or another, sooner rather than later. But for today, my heart just hurts all over again.

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